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mpact of a pistol shot。 His voice was filled with contempt。 〃How many times do I tell you not to listen at doors？〃
She stood holding her hand to her face。 The tears began to run down her cheeks。
〃Now you get back to the kitchen。 I'll deal with you later。〃
She ran toward the kitchen； still holding her face。 Robair turned back to me。 〃I apologize for her； Mr。 Cord；〃 he said； his voice once more deep and soft。 〃Ordinarily； my servants don't do such a thing； but that one is pretty hard to keep in her place。〃
I took out a cigarette and almost before I had it in my mouth； Robair struck a match and held it for me。 I dragged deep。 〃That's all right； Robair。 I don't think she'll be with us much longer。〃
Robair put out the match and carefully deposited it in an ash tray。 〃Yes； sir。〃
I looked at the staircase speculatively。 Oddly enough； I hesitated。
Robair's voice came over my shoulder。 〃Mrs。 Cord is in her room。〃
I looked at him。 His face was an impenetrable butler's mask。 〃Thank you； Robair。 I'll go up and tell her。〃
I started up the staircase。 His voice held me。 〃Mr。 Cord？〃 I turned and looked down at him。
His black face gleamed。 〃What time shall I serve dinner； sir？〃
I thought for a moment。 〃About eight o'clock；〃 I answered。
〃Thank you； sir；〃 he said and started for the kitchen。
I knocked softly at Rina's door。 There was no answer。 I opened it and walked in。 Her voice came from the bathroom。
〃Louise； bring me a bath towel。〃
I walked into the bathroom and took a large towel from the stack on the shelf over her dressing table。 I started for the enclosed bathtub just as she slid back the glass door。
She was gold and white and gleaming with the water running down her body。 She stood there for a moment surprised。 Most women would have tried to cover themselves。 But not Rina。 She held out a hand for the towel。
She wrapped it around her expertly and stepped from the tub。 〃Where's Louise？〃 she asked； sitting down at the dressing table。
〃Downstairs；〃 I answered。
She began to dry her face with another towel。 〃Your father wouldn't like this。〃
〃He'll never know；〃 I answered。
〃How do you know I won't tell him？〃
〃You won't；〃 I said definitely。
It was then that she began to sense something was wrong。 She looked up at me in the mirror。 Her face was suddenly serious。 〃Did something happen between you and your father； Jonas？〃
She watched me for a moment； there was still a puzzled look in her eyes。 She gave me a small towel。 〃Be a good boy； will you； Jonas； and dry my back？ I can't reach it。〃 She smiled up into the mirror。 〃You see； I really do need Louise。〃
I took the towel and moved closer to her。 She let the big bath towel slide down from her shoulders。 I patted the beads of moisture from her flawless skin。 The scent of her perfume came up to me； pungent from her bath warmth。
I pressed my lips to her neck。 She turned toward me in surprise。 〃Stop that； Jonas！ Your father said this morning you were a sex maniac but you don't have to try to prove it！〃
I stared into her eyes。 There was no fear in them。 She was very sure of herself。 I smiled slowly。 〃Maybe he was right；〃 I said。 〃Or maybe he just forgot what it was like to be young。〃
I pulled her off the seat toward me。 The towel fell still further until it hung only by the press of our bodies。 I covered her mouth with mine and reached for her breast。 It was hard and firm and strong and I could feel her heart beating wildly beneath it。
Maybe I was wrong but for a moment； I thought I could feel the fires in her reaching toward me。 Then； angrily； she tore herself from me。 The towel lay unheeded on the floor now。 〃Have you gone crazy？〃 she spit at me； her breast heaving。 〃You know at any minute now he could e walking through that door。〃
I stood very still for a second； then let the built…up pressure in my lungs escape in a slow sigh。 〃He'll never e through that door again；〃 I said。
The color began to drain from her face slowly。 〃What… what do you mean？〃 she stammered。
My eyes went right into hers。 For the first time； I could see into them。 She was afraid。 Just like everyone else that had to look into an unknown future。 〃Mrs。 Cord；〃 I said slowly； 〃your husband is dead。〃
Her pupils dilated wildly for a moment and she sank slowly back onto the seat。 By reflex； she picked up the towel and placed it around her again。 〃I can't believe it；〃 she said dully。
〃What is it that you can't believe； Rina？〃 I asked cruelly。 〃That he's dead or that you were wrong when you married him instead of me？〃
I don't think she even heard me。 She looked up at me； her eyes dry； but there was a gentle sorrow in them … a passion I never knew she was capable of。 〃Was there any pain？〃 she asked。
〃No；〃 I answered。 〃It was quick。 A stroke。 One minute he was as big as life and roaring like a lion； and the next… 〃 I snapped my fingers。 〃It was like that。〃
Her eyes were still on mine。 〃I'm glad for his sake；〃 she said softly。 〃I wouldn't have wanted him to suffer。〃
She got to her feet slowly。 The veil came down over her eyes again。 〃I think you'd better go now；〃 she said。
This was the familiar Rina； the one I wanted to take apart。 The distant one； the unattainable one； the calculating one。 〃No；〃 I said。 〃I haven't finished yet。〃
She started past me。 〃What is there to finish？〃
I seized her arm and pulled her back toward me。 〃We're not finished；〃 I said into her upturned face。 〃You and me。 I brought you home one night because I wanted you。 But you chose my father because he represented a quicker return for you。 I think I've waited long enough！〃
She stared back at me。 She wasn't afraid now。 This was the ground she was used to fighting on。 〃You wouldn't dare！〃
For an answer； I pulled the towel from her。 She turned to run from the room but I caught her arm and pulled her back to me。 With my other hand； I caught her hair and pulled her head back so that her face turned up to mine。 〃No？〃
〃I'll scream；〃 she gasped hoarsely。 〃The servants will e running！〃
I grinned。 〃No； they won't。 They'll only think it a cry of grief。 Robair's got them in the kitchen and not one will e up unless I send for her。〃
〃Wait！〃 she begged。 〃Please wait。 For your father's sake？〃
〃Why should I？〃 I asked。 〃He didn't wait for me。〃 I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom。 Her fists and hands scratched at my face and beat against my chest。
I threw her on the bed； the white satin cover still on it。 She tried to roll off on the other side。 I grabbed her shoulder and spun her back。 She bit my hand and tried to scramble away when I pulled it back。 I placed my knee across her thighs and slapped viciously at her face。 The blow knocked her back on the pillow。 I could see the white marks left by my fingers。
She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them； they were clouded and there was a wildness in them that I had never seen before。 She smiled and her arms went up around my neck； pulling me down to her。 Her mouth fastened against mine。 I could feel her body begin to move under me。
〃Do it to me； Jonas！〃 she breathed into my mouth。 〃Now！ I can't wait any more。 I've waited so long。〃 Her searching fingers ran down my hip and found my core。 She turned her face into the pillow； her movements being more frenetic。 I could hardly hear her fierce； urgent whisper。 〃Hurry； Jonas。 Hurry！〃
I started to get up but she couldn't wait for me to get my clothing off。 She pulled me down again and took me inside her。 She was like a burning bed of coals。 She drew my head down to her neck。
〃Make me pregnant； Jonas；〃 she whispered into my ear。 〃Make me pregnant like you did to those three girls in Los Angeles。 Put your life into me！〃
I looked into her face。 Her eyes were clear and there was a taunting triumph in them。 They reflected none of the passion of the body beneath me。 Her arms and legs tightened around me。
She smiled； her eyes looking into mine。 〃Make me pregnant； Jonas；〃 she whispered。 〃Like your father never would。 He was afraid someone would take something away from you！〃
〃What… what？〃 I tried to get up but she was like a bottomless well that I couldn't get out of。
〃Yes； Jonas；〃 she said； still smiling； her body devouring me。 〃Your father never took any chances。 That's why he made me sign that agreement before we got married。 He wanted everything for his precious son！〃
I tried to get up but she had moved her legs in some mysterious manner。 Laughing； triumphant； she said； 〃But you'll make me pregnant； won't you； Jonas？ Who will know but us？ You will share your fortune with your child even if the whole world believes it to be your father's。〃
She rose beneath me； seeking and demanding my life force。 In a sudden frenzy； I tore myself from her； just as my strength drained from me。 I fell across the bed near her feet。
The agony passed and I opened my eyes。 Her head was turned into the pillow and she was crying。 Silently I got to my feet and left the room。
All the way down the hall to my room； I kept thinking； my father cared； he really cared。 Even if I didn't see it； he loved me。
He loved me。 But never enough to show it。
By the time I got to my room； the tears were rolling down my cheeks。
7
I WAS ON THE TINY INDIAN PINTO THAT I HAD WHEN I was ten years old； galloping insanely across the dunes。 The panic of flight rose within me but I didn't know what I was running from。 I looked back over my shoulder。
My father was following me on the big strawberry roan。 His jacket was open and blowing in the wind and I could see the heavy watch chain stretched tight across his chest。 I heard his voice； weird and eerie in the wind。 〃e back here； Jonas。 Damn you； e back！〃
I turned and urged the pinto to even greater speed； I used my bat unmercifully and there were tiny red welts on the horse's side from where I had hit him。 Gradually； I began to pull away。
Suddenly； as if from nowhere； Nevada was beside me； riding easily on his big black horse。 He looked across at me calmly。 His voice was low。 〃Go back； Jonas。 It's your father calling you。 What kind of a son are you； anyway？〃
I didn't answer； just kept urging my horse on。 I looked back again over my shoulder。
My father was pulling his horse to a stop。 His face was very sad。 〃Look after him； Nevada。〃 I could hear him only faintly； for there was a great distance between us。 〃Look after him； for I haven't the time。〃 He turned the strawberry roan around and began to gallop away。
I stopped my pony and turned to look after him。 He was already growing smaller in the distance。 Even his outline was fading in the sudden tears that leapt to my eyes。 I wanted to cry out after him； 〃Don't go； Father。〃 But the words stuck in my throat。
I sat up in bed； my skin wet with perspiration。 I shook my head to get the echo of the dream out of it。 Through the open window I could hear the sound of horses ing from the corral in back of the house。
I went over to the window and looked out。 The sun was at five o'clock and casting a long morning shadow。 Down in the corral； several of the hands were leaning against the fence； watching a rider trying to break a wiry bay colt。 I squinted my eyes against the sun。
I turned from the window quickly。 That was the kind of medicine I needed。 Something that would jar the empty feeling out of me； that would clean the bitter taste from my mouth。 I pulled on a pair of Levi's and an old blue shirt and started from the room。
I headed down the corridor to the back stairs。 I met Robair just as I came to them。 He was carrying a tray with a glass of orange juice and a pot of steaming coffee。 He looked at me without surprise。
〃Good morning； Mr。 Jonas。〃
〃Good morning； Robair；〃 I replied。
〃Mr。 McAllister is here to see you。 I showed him into the study。〃
I hesitated a moment。 The corral would have to wait。 There were more important things I had to do。 〃Thank you； Robair；〃 I said； turning for the front staircase。
〃Mr。 Jonas；〃 he called after me。
I stopped and looked back at him。
〃If you're goin' to talk business； Mr。 Jonas； I find you always talk better if you got something in your stomach。〃
I looked at him； then at the tray。 I nodded and sat down on the top step。 Robair set the tray down beside me。 I picked up the gl