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ed to you； Simon。 I'm sorry； too。〃
〃Tell me。 I'll listen。〃
Miriamele listened to the flames crackle and hiss for a while。 〃Cadrach showed me the truth； although I don't think he realized it。 It was when we were traveling together； and he told me of Nisses' book。 He had once owned it； or a copy of it。〃
〃The magical book that Morgenes talked about？〃
〃Yes。 And it is a powerful thing。 Powerful enough that Pryrates learned that Cadrach had owned it and so Pryrates。。。 sent for him。〃 She fell silent momentarily； remembering Cadrach's description of the blood…red windows and the iron devices with the skin and hair of the tortured still on them。 〃He threatened him until Cadrach told him all the things he remembered； Cadrach said that Pryrates was particularly interested in talking with the dead…'Speaking through the Veil；' he called it。〃
〃From what I know of Pryrates； that doesn't surprise me。〃 Simon's voice was shaky； too。 Obviously he had his own memories of the red priest。
〃But that was what showed me what I needed to know；〃 Miriamele said； unwilling to lose the thread of her idea now that she was finally talking about it out loud。 〃Oh； Simon； I had wondered so long why my father changed the way he did； why Pryrates was able to turn him to such evil tasks。〃 She swallowed。 There were still tears standing wet on her cheeks； but for the moment she had found a new strength。 〃My father loved my mother。 He was never the same after she died。 He did not marry； did not even consider it； despite all the wishes of my grandfather。 They used to have terrible arguments about it。 'You need a son to be your heir；' Grandfather used to say； but my father always told him he would never marry again； that he had been given a wife and then God had taken her back。〃 She paused； remembering。
〃I still don't understand；〃 said Simon quietly。
〃Don't you see？ Pryrates must have told my father that he could talk to the dead…that he could let my father speak with my mother again； perhaps even see her。 You don't know him； Simon。 He was heartsick with losing her。 He would have done anything； I think； to have her back； even for a little while。〃
Simon drew in a long breath。 〃But that's 。。。 blasphemy。 That's against God。〃
Miriamele laughed； a little shrilly。 〃As if that would have stopped him。 I told you； he would have done anything to have her back。 Pryrates must have lied to him and told him that they could reach her。。。 beyond the Veil； or whatever that horrible book called it。 Maybe the priest even thought that he could。 And he used that promise to make my father first his patron； then his partner。。。 then his slave。〃
Simon pondered this。 〃Perhaps Pryrates did try；〃 he said finally。 〃Perhaps that is how they reached through to。。。 to the other side。 To the Storm King。〃
The sound of this name； even as quietly it had been spoken； was greeted with a skirl of wind in the thatches above； a rush of sound so abrupt that Miriamele flinched。
〃Perhaps。〃 The thought made her cold。 To think of her father waiting eagerly to speak with his beloved wife and finding that thing instead。 It was a little like the terrifying old story of what the fisherman Bulychlinn brought up in his nets。。。。
〃But I still don't understand； Miriamele。〃 Simon was gentle but stubborn。 〃Even if all that is true； what good will it do to speak to your father？〃
〃I'm not sure it will do any good。〃 And that was true： it was hard to picture any happy result from their meeting after so much time and so much anger and sorrow。 〃But if there's even a small chance that I can show him sense； that I can remind him that this began out of love； and so convince him to stop 。。。 then I have to take that chance。〃 She lifted a hand and wiped at her eyes： she was crying again。 〃He just wanted to see her。。。。〃 After a moment she steadied herself。 〃But you do not have to go； Simon。 This is my burden。〃
He was silent。 She could sense his disfort。
〃It is too great a risk；〃 he said at last。 〃You might never get to see your father； even if that would do any good。 Pryrates might catch you first； and then no one would ever hear from you again。〃 He said it with terrible conviction。
〃I know； Simon。 I just don't know what else to do。 I have to speak to my father。 I have to show him what's happened； and only I can do it。〃
〃You're determined； then？〃
〃I am。〃
Simon sighed。 〃Aedon on the Tree； Miriamele； it's madness。 I hope you change your mind by the time we get there。〃
Miriamele knew there would be no change。 〃I have been thinking about it for a long time。〃
Simon slumped back onto his bedroll。 〃If Josua knew； he'd tie you up and carry you a thousand leagues away。〃
〃You're right。 He would never allow it。〃
In the darkness； Simon sighed again。 〃I have to think； Miriamele。 I don't know what to do。〃
〃You can do anything but stop me；〃 she said evenly。 〃Don't try to stop me； Simon。〃
But he did not reply。 After a while； despite all me fear and furor； Miriamele felt the heaviness of sleep pulling her down。
She was startled awake by a loud roar。 As she lay with her heart pounding； something flashed up in the ceiling； brighter than a torch。 It took a moment for her to realize that the source had been a sky…spanning sheet of lightning glaring through the holes in the roof。 There was another crash of thunder。
The room smelled even damper and closer than it had before。 When the next lightning flash came； Miriamele saw in its momentary brilliance a torrent of raindrops pouring through the ragged thatching。 She sat up and felt along the floor。 The rain was falling well short of her； but it was splashing on Simon's boots and the bottoms of his breeches。 He was still asleep； snoring quietly。
〃Simon！〃 She shook him。 〃Get up！〃
He grunted； but showed no other signs of wakefulness。
〃Simon； you have to move。 You're being rained on。〃
After a few more shakes； he rolled over。 plaining muzzily； he helped Miriamele pull his bedroll closer to hers； then flopped onto it with every sign of going immediately back to sleep。
As she lay listening to the rain patter on the straw； she felt Simon move closer。 His face was very close to hers in the dark； she could feel his warm breath on her cheek。 It was oddly peaceful； despite all the danger they had seen and still faced； to lie here and listen to the storm with this young man close beside her。
Simon stirred。 〃Miriamele？ Are you cold？ 〃
〃A little。〃
He moved closer still； then reached out his arm and put it under her neck； tipping her in toward his chest so that she could feel him the whole length of her。 She felt trapped but not frightened。 His mouth was now pressed against her cheek。
〃Miriamele 。。。〃 he said softly。
〃Sssshhh。〃 She stayed huddled against him。 〃Don't say a word。〃
They remained that way for some time。 Rain rattled in the thatch。 From time to time thunder sounded in the distance like giants' drums。
Simon kissed her cheek。 Miriamele felt his beard tickling along her jaw； but it seemed so strangely right that she did not squirm。 He turned her head slightly； then his lips met hers。 The thunder rumbled again from farther away； something happening in another place； another time。
Why does there have to be more than this？ Miriamele wondered sadly。 Why should there be all the plications？ Simon had put his other arm around her； gentle but insistent； and now they were pressed together； body against body。 She could feel his lean； muscled arms and his hard chest against her stomach； against her breasts。 If only time could stop！
Simon's kisses were stronger now。 He lifted his face and buried it in her hair。
〃Miriamele；〃 he whispered； hoarse…throated。
〃Oh。 Oh； Simon；〃 she murmured back。 She was not quite sure what she wanted； but she knew she would be happy just kissing him； just holding him。
His face was against her neck now； sending chills all through her。 It felt wonderful； but also frightening。 He was a boy； but he was a man as well。 She stiffened； but he brought his face back to hers。 Again he kissed her； clumsy but ardent； pushing a little too hard。 She lifted her hand to his bearded face and gentled him； so that their lips could meet and touch…oh； so softly！
Even as they shared breath； his hand was moving across her face； across her neck。 He touched her everywhere he could without losing the warmth pressed between mem； running his fingers across the swell of her hip； letting his hand rest in the hollow beneath her arm。 She tingled； yearning to rub hard against him； but she felt a strange softness； too； as though they were slowly drowning together； sinking down into dark ocean depths。 She could hear her own heartbeat above the rustle of rain in the straw。
Simon rolled farther； until he was half above her； then drew back a little。 He was only a shadow； which she found somehow frightening。 She reached up until she could feel his cheek； the delicate rasp of his beard。 His mouth moved。
〃I love you； Miriamele。〃
Her breath caught。 Suddenly there was a knot of coldness in her stomach。 〃No； Simon；〃 she whispered。 〃Don't say that。〃
〃But it's true！ I think I've loved you since I first saw you； up in the tower with the sun in your hair。〃
〃You can't love me。〃 She wanted to push him off； but she had no strength。 〃You don't understand。〃
〃What do you mean？〃
〃You 。。。 you can't love me。 It's wrong。〃
〃Wrong？〃 he said angrily。 His body was now quivering against her； but it was the trembling of suppressed fury。 〃Because I'm a moner。 I'm not good enough for a princess； is that it？〃 He twisted away； kneeling in the straw beside her。 〃Damn your pride； Miriamele。 I fought a dragon！ A dragon； a real dragon！ Isn't that enough for you'？ Do you prefer somebody like Fengbald…a m…m…murderer； but a m…murderer with a t…title？〃 He fought against tears。
The rawness in his voice tore at her heart。 〃No； Simon； that's not it！ You don't understand！〃
〃Tell me； then！〃 he snapped。 'Tell me what I don't understand！〃
〃It's not you。 It's me。〃
There was a long silence。 〃What do you mean？〃
〃Nothing's wrong with you； Simon。 I think you're brave； and kind； and everything you should be。 It's me； Simon。 I'm the one who doesn't deserve to be loved。〃
〃What are you talking about？〃
She gasped and shook her head violently。 〃I don't want to talk any more。 Leave me alone； Simon。 Find someone else to love。 There will be plenty who would be happy to have you。〃 She rolled over； turning her back to him。 Now； when she most wanted the relief of tears； tears would not e。 She felt high and cold and strange。
His hand clutched her shoulder。 〃By the bloody Tree； Miriamele； would you talk to me'？ What are you saying？〃
〃I'm not pure； Simon。 I'm not a maiden。〃 There。 It was out。 It took him several moments to respond。 〃What？〃
〃I have been with a man。〃 Now that she was talking； it was easier than she had thought it would be。 It was like listening to someone else speak。 〃The nobleman from Nabban I told you about； the one who took Cadrach and me aboard his ship。 Aspitis Preves。〃
〃He raped you。。。 ？〃 He sounded stunned； but anger was growing。 〃That。。。 that 。。。〃
Miriamele's laugh was short and bitter。 〃No； Simon； he did not rape me。 He held me prisoner； yes； but that was later。 He was a monster…but I let him e to my bed and I did not resist。〃 Then； to bolt the door for good； so that Simon would leave her alone； so that she would bring him no further suffering after this night： 〃I wanted him to。 I thought he was beautiful。 I wanted him to。〃
Simon made an inarticulate noise； then stood up。 His breath sawed in and out； in and out。 For all she could see of him in the darkness； he could have been shape…changing： he seemed wordless and bedeviled as a trapped animal。 He growled； then ran for the door of the cottage。 It crashed open as he fled out into the dying storm。
After a few moments Miriamele went and pulled the door closed again。 He would be back； she felt sure。 Then he would leave her； or they would go on together； but things would