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'But I don't know what to do！' Jack said as Speedy swung up into the cab of the old truck。
'You know enough to get movin；' Speedy said。 'You'll go to the Talisman； Jack。 She'll draw you to her。'
'I don't even know what a Talisman is！'
Speedy laughed and keyed the ignition。 The truck started up with a big blue blast of exhaust。 'Look it up in the dictionary！' he shouted； and threw the truck into reverse。
He backed up； turned around； and then the truck was rattling back toward Arcadia Funworld。 Jack stood by the curb； watching it go。 He had never felt so alone in his life。
CHAPTER 5
Jack and Lily
1
When Speedy's truck turned off the road and disappeared beneath the Funworld arch； Jack began to move toward the hotel。 A Talisman。 In another Alhambra。 On the edge of another ocean。 His heart seemed empty。 Without Speedy beside him； the task was mountainous； so huge； vague； too…while Speedy had been talking； Jack had had the feeling of almost understanding that macaroni of hints and threats and instructions。 Now it was close to just being macaroni。 The Territories were real； though。 He hugged that certainty as close as he could； and it both warmed and chilled him。 They were a real place； and he was going there again。 Even if he did not really understand everything yet…even if he was an ignorant pilgrim； he was going。 Now all he had to do was to try to convince his mother。 'Talisman；' he said to himself； using the word as the thing； and crossed empty Boardwalk Avenue and jumped up the steps onto the path between the hedges。 The darkness of the Alhambra's interior； once the great door had swung shut； startled him。 The lobby was a long cave…you'd need a fire just to separate the shadows。 The pale clerk flickered behind the long desk； stabbing at Jack with his white eyes。 A message there： yes。 Jack swallowed and turned away。 The message made him stronger； it increased him； though its intention was only scornful。
He went toward the elevators with a straight back and an unhurried step。 Hang around with blackies； huh？ Let them put their arms around you； huh？ The elevator whirred down like a great heavy bird； the doors parted； and Jack stepped inside。 He turned to punch the button marked with a glowing 4。 The clerk was still posed spectrally behind the desk； sending out his dumdum's message。 Niggerlover Niggerlover Niggerlover （like it that way； hey brat？ Hot and black； that's for you； hey？）。 The doors mercifully shut。 Jack's stomach fell toward his shoes； the elevator lurched upward。
The hatred stayed down there in the lobby： the very air in the elevator felt better once it had risen above the first floor。 Now all Jack had to do was to tell his mother that he had to go to California by himself。
Just don't let Uncle Morgan sign any papers for you
As Jack stepped out of the elevator； he wondered for the first time in his life whether Richard Sloat understood what his father was really like。
2
Down past the empty sconces and paintings of little boats riding foamy； corrugated seas； the door marked 408 slanted inward； revealing a foot of the suite's pale carpet。 Sunlight from the living…room windows made a long rectangle on the inner wall。 'Hey Mom；' Jack said； entering the suite。 'You didn't close the door； what's the big…' He was alone in the room。 'Idea？' he said to the furniture。 'Mom？' Disorder seemed to ooze from the tidy room…an overflowing ashtray； a half…full tumbler of water left on the coffee table。
This time； Jack promised himself； he would not panic。
He turned in a slow circle。 Her bedroom door was open； the room itself as dark as the lobby because Lily had never pulled open the curtains。
'Hey； I know you're here；' he said； and then walked through her empty bedroom to knock at her bathroom door。 No reply。 Jack opened this door and saw a pink toothbrush beside the sink； a forlorn hairbrush on the dressing table。 Bristles snarled with light hairs。 Laura DeLoessian； announced a voice in Jack's mind； and he stepped backward out of the little bathroom…that name stung him。
'Oh； not again；' he said to himself。 'Where'd she go？'
Already he was seeing it。
He saw it as he went to his own bedroom； saw it as he opened his own door and surveyed his rumpled bed； his flattened knapsack and little stack of paperback books； his socks balled up on top of the dresser。 He saw it when he looked into his own bathroom； where towels lay in oriental disarray over the floor； the sides of the tub； and the Formica counters。
Morgan Sloat thrusting through the door； grabbing his mother's arms and hauling her downstairs 。 。 。
Jack hurried back into the living room and this time looked behind the couch。
。 。 。 yanking her out a side door and pushing her into a car； his eyes beginning to turn yellow 。 。 。
He picked up the telephone and punched 0。 'This is； ah； Jack Sawyer； and I'm in； ah； room four…oh…eight。 Did my mother leave any message for me？ She was supposed to be here and 。 。 。 and for some reason 。 。 。 ah 。 。 。 '
'I'll check；' said the girl； and Jack clutched the phone for a burning moment before she returned。 'No message for four…oh…eight； sorry。'
'How about four…oh…seven？'
'That's the same slot；' the girl told him。
'Ah； did she have any visitors in the last half hour or so？ Anybody e this morning？ To see her； I mean。'
'That would be Reception；' the girl said。 'I wouldn't know。 Do you want me to check for you？'
'Please；' Jack said。
'Oh； I'm happy to have something to do in this morgue；' she told him。 'Stay on the line。' Another burning moment。 When she came back to him； it was with 'No visitors。 Maybe she left a note somewhere in your rooms。'
'Yes； I'll look；' Jack said miserably and hung up。 Would the clerk tell the truth？ Or would Morgan Sloat have held out a hand with a twenty…dollar bill folded like a stamp into his meaty palm？ That； too； Jack could see。
He dropped himself on the couch； stifling an irrational desire to look under the cushions。 Of course Uncle Morgan could not have e to the rooms and abducted her…he was still in California。 But he could have sent other people to do it for him。 Those people Speedy had mentioned； the Strangers with a foot in each world。
Then Jack could stay in the room no longer。 He bounced off the couch and went back into the corridor； closing the door after him。 When he had gone a few paces down the hall； he twirled around in mid…step； went back； and opened the door with his own key。 He pushed the door an inch in； and then trotted back toward the elevators。 It was always possible that she had gone out without her key…to the shop in the lobby； to the newsstand for a magazine or a paper。
Sure。 He had not seen her pick up a newspaper since the beginning of summer。 All the news she cared about came over an internal radio。
Out for a walk； then。
Yeah； out exercising and breathing deeply。 Or jogging； maybe： maybe Lily Cavanaugh had suddenly gone in for the hundred…yard dash。 She'd set up hurdles down on the beach and was in training for the next Olympics When the elevator deposited him in the lobby he glanced into the shop； where an elderly blond woman behind a counter peered at him over the tops of her glasses。 Stuffed animals； a tiny pile of thin newspapers； a display rack of flavored Chap Stick。 Leaning out of pockets in a wallstand were People and Us and New Hampshire Magazine。
'Sorry；' Jack said； and turned away。
He found himself staring at the bronze plaque beside a huge； dispirited fern 。 。 。 has begun to sicken and must soon die。
The woman in the shop cleared her throat。 Jack thought that he must have been staring at those words of Daniel Webster's for entire minutes。 'Yes？' the woman said behind him。
'Sorry；' Jack repeated； and pulled himself into the center of the lobby。 The hateful clerk lifted an eyebrow； then turned sideways to stare at a deserted staircase。 Jack made himself approach the man。
'Mister；' he said when he stood before the desk。 The clerk was pretending to try to remember the capital of North Carolina or the principal export of Peru。 'Mister。' The man scowled to himself： he was nearly there； he could not be disturbed。
All of this was an act； Jack knew； and he said； 'I wonder if you can help me。'
The man decided to look at him after all。 'Depends on what the help is； sonny。'
Jack consciously decided to ignore the hidden sneer。 'Did you see my mother go out a little while ago？'
'What's a little while？' Now the sneer was almost visible。
'Did you see her go out？ That's all I'm asking。'
'Afraid she saw you and your sweetheart holding hands out there？'
'God； you're such a creep；' Jack startled himself by saying。 'No； I'm not afraid of that。 I'm just wondering if she went out； and if you weren't such a creep； you'd tell me。' His face had grown hot； and he realized that his hands were bunched into fists。
'Well okay； she went out；' the clerk said； drifting away toward the bank of pigeonholes behind him。 'But you'd better watch your tongue； boy。 You better apologize to me； fancy little Master Sawyer。 I got eyes； too。 I know things。'
'You run your mouth and I run my business；' Jack said； dredging the phrase up from one of his father's old records…perhaps it did not quite fit the situation； but it felt right in his mouth； and the clerk blinked satisfactorily。
'Maybe she's in the gardens； I don't know；' the man said gloomily； but Jack was already on his way toward the door。
The Darling of the Drive…ins and Queen of the Bs was nowhere in the wide gardens before the hotel； Jack saw immediately…and he had known that she would not be in the gardens； for he would have seen her on his way into the hotel。 Besides； Lily Cavanaugh did not dawdle through gardens： that suited her as little as did setting up hurdles on the beach。
A few cars rolled down Boardwalk Avenue。 A gull screeched far overhead； and Jack's heart tightened。
The boy pushed his fingers through his hair and looked up and down the bright street。 Maybe she had been curious about Speedy…maybe she'd wanted to check out this unusual new pal of her son's and had wandered down to the amusement park。 But Jack could not see her in Arcadia Funworld any more than he could see her lingering picturesquely in the gardens。 He turned in the less familiar direction； toward the town line。
Separated from the Alhambra's grounds by a high thick hedge； the Arcadia Tea and Jam Shoppe stood first in a row of brightly colored shops。 It and New England Drugs were the only shops in the terrace to remain open after Labor Day。 Jack hesitated a moment on the cracked sidewalk。 A tea shop； much less shoppe； was an unlikely situation for the Darling of the Drive…ins。 But since it was the first place he might expect to find her； he moved across the sidewalk and peered in the window。
A woman with piled…up hair sat smoking before a cash register。 A waitress in a pink rayon dress leaned against the far wall。 Jack saw no customers。 Then at one of the tables near the Alhambra end of the shop he saw an old woman lifting a cup。 Apart from the help； she was alone。 Jack watched the old woman delicately replace the cup in the saucer； then fish a cigarette from her bag； and realized with a sickening jolt that she was his mother。 An instant later； the impression of age had disappeared。
But he could remember it…and it was as if he were seeing her through bifocals； seeing both Lily Cavanaugh Sawyer and that fragile old woman in the same body。
Jack gently opened the door； but still he set off the tinkle of the bell that he had known was above it。 The blond woman at the register nodded； smiling。 The waitress straightened up and smoothed the lap of her dress。 His mother stared at him with what looked like genuine surprise； and then gave him an open smile。
'Well； Wandering Jack； you're so tall that you looked just like your father when you came through that door；' she said。 'Sometimes I forget you're only twelve。'
3
'You called me 'Wandering Jack；' ' he said； pulling a chair out and dropping himself into it。
Her face was very pale； and the smudges beneath her eyes looked almost lik