按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
t the easiest answer； and by squinting our eyes against the bright； ining light all of the time。 Emerson wrote once that even a corpse is beautiful if you shine enough light on it。
But that is horseshit。
Too much light means unbearable truth； and too much truthful light sears a man's eyes into an unraging blindness。 The blind man can only smell the crap of his life； and the sounds in his ears are cacophonous corruptions。 Without vision； the terrible beauty of life is irrevocably gone。 Gone！
And as I thought of all Debierue's lost visions； never to appear on canvas for the exhilaration of my eyes； scalding tears ran down my cheeks。
PART THREE
IF ANYTHING WAS PREHENSIBLE；
IT WOULD BE INMUNICABLE
1
I took my time。
What I had to do had to be done right or not at all。 Once I mitted； although my concern for Berenice （frightened and waiting for me in the tall grass by the highway） did not diminish； it would have been foolhardy to rush。 I might have overlooked something important。
I looked in the kitchen for string and wrapping paper； but there was neither。 There was newspaper； but it would have been awkward to wrap a canvas in newspaper when there was no string to tie the bundle。 There were several large brown paper grocery sacks under the sink； and I took one of these back to the studio to hold the art materials I would need。 I took a clean sheet from the hall linen closet and wrapped one of the new canvases from the plastic rack in it。 I then filled the brown sack with several camel's…hair brushes； a can of turpentine； one of linseed oil； and a halfdozen tubes of oil paint。 With cadmium red； chrome yellow； Prussian blue； and zinc white I can mix almost any shade or tint of color I desire （this much I had learned in my first oil painting course because the tyrannical teacher had made us learn how to mix primary colors if he taught us nothing else）。 I added tubes of burnt sienna and lampblack to the others because they were useful for skin tones （there were no positional ideas in mind at the time； just nebulous multicolored swirls floating loosely about in my head） if some figures became involved in the position。 The palette knife was also useful and I dropped it into the sack； but I didn't take the expensive palette。 It was too expensive and could be traced； and I wouldn't want to be caught with it in my possession。
These art materials could be purchased anywhere； of course； as could the prepared 30〃 x 24〃 canvas； but I needed Debierue's materials in the event the authenticity of the painting was ever questioned。 Mr。 Cassidy； who had purchased everything for Debierue； would have a bill from the art store listing these materials； their brands； and so would Rex Art。 My mind was racing； but I was clearheaded enough to realize how close a scrutiny the painting would receive when and if it were ever painted and exhibited。
I put the wrapped canvas； the sackful of supplies； and the hammer and tire iron into the trunk of the car； and returned to the studio。
I ran into trouble with the fire。 Turpentine is flammable； highly flammable； but I had difficulty in getting it lighted and in keeping it burning once it was lit。 I finally had to take the remains of the Miami Herald； crumple each separate page into a ball； and partially soak each sheet with turpentine before I could get a roaring fire started beneath the Early American Harvest table。
Once it got started； however； the fire burned beautifully。 I poured most of the last can on the studio door； and dribbled the rest to the blaze beneath the table。 I then tossed the new canvases into the fire； and backed out of the room。 Because the fire would need a draft； I left the studio door and the front door standing open。 Whether the house burned down or not was unimportant。 The important thing was a charred and well…gutted studio。 I wanted no evidence of any paintings left behind； and the crackling prepared canvases； sized with white lead； burned rapidly。
Satisfied； I turned out the living room and kitchen lights and got into the car。 When I reached the highway and stopped； Berenice was gone。 I shouted her name twice and panicked momentarily。 Had she hitchhiked a ride back to Palm Beach？ If she stuck out her thumb； any truck driver who saw it would stop and pick her up。 But I calmed down by puffing myself in her place； turned toward the drive…in theater instead of turning left for Palm Beach； and found her waiting for me in the gravel road of the driveway； standing near the well…lighted marquee。
〃What took you so long？〃 Her voice wasn't angry。 She was too relieved to see me； happy to be in the car again。 〃I thought you were never ing back。〃
〃I'm sorry。 It took longer than I expected。〃
〃Did you stea… take a picture？〃
〃Yeah。〃
〃What were they like？ The pictures？〃
〃I'll turn over here U。S。 One。 There're too many trucks on Seven。〃
〃How long do you think it'll be； before he misses the picture？〃
〃I've got to go back to New York； Berenice。 Tonight。 So as soon as we get back to the apartment I'll pack… you're still packed； practically… and then I can drop you off at the airport。 Or； if you'd rather； you can stay on for a few more days。 The rent's paid till the end of the month； so 。 。 。〃
〃If you're going to New York； so am I！〃
〃But what's the point？ You've got your school year contract； and you have to go back to work； don't you？ Besides； I'm going to be busy。 I won't have any time for you at all。 First； there's the Debierue article to write； and the deadline is tighter than hell now。 I'll have to find a place to crash。 The man in my pad has still got another month on the sublease； you see。 I'm almost broke； and I'll have to borrow some money； and…〃
〃Money isn't a problem； James。 I've got almost five hundred dollars in traveler's checks； and more than five thousand in savings in the credit union。 I'm going to New York with you。
〃Okay；〃 I said bitterly； 〃but you'll have to help me drive。〃
〃Watch out！〃 she shrilled。 〃That car's only got one headlight！〃
〃I don't mean that way。 I mean to spell me at the wheel on the way up； so we can make better time。〃
〃I know what you meant； but you might have thought it was a motorcycle。 We can trade off every two hours。〃
〃No。 When I get tired； we'll trade。〃
〃All right。 How're you going to get your twenty dollars back？〃
〃What twenty dollars？〃
〃The deposit at the electric pany。 If we leave tonight； you won't be able to have them cut off the electricity or get your deposit back。〃
〃Jesus； I don't know。 I can let the landlady handle it and send me the money later。 They'll subtract what I owe anyway。 Please； Berenice； I'm trying to think。 I've got so much on my mind I don't want to hear any more domestic crap； and those damned non sequiturs of yours drive me up the goddamned tree。〃
〃I'm sorry。〃
〃So am I。 We're both sorry； but just be quiet。〃
〃I will。 I won't say anything else。〃
〃Nothing else！ Please！〃
Berenice gulped； closed her generous mouth； and puckered her lips into a prim pout。 She looked straight ahead through the windshield and twisted her gloves； which she had removed； in her lap。 I had shouted at her； but in my agitation； somehow； had consented to take her with me to New York。 This was the last thing I wanted to do。 It would take two days； perhaps three； to write the article on Debierue…and I had to do something about the painting for Mr。 Cassidy。 It wasn't a task I could have done for me； although I knew a dozen painters in New York who could have produced anything on canvas I asked them to put there； and the product would have been a professional job。
But no one could be trusted。 It was something I had to do myself； to fit Debierue's 〃American Period〃…at that moment I coined the title for my article： 〃Debierue： The American Harvest Period。〃 It was a major improvement over my previous title； and 〃American Harvest〃…the idea must have e to me from the worktable in his studio… would provide me with a springboard for generating associative ideas。
But there was still Berenice； and the problem of what to do with her…but wasn't it better to have her with me than to simply turn her loose where she could learn about the fire by reading about it in a newspaper； or by hearing a newscast？ How soon would the report go out？ Would Debierue telephone Mr。 Cassidy and tell him about it？ That depended upon the extent of the fire； probably； but Cassidy would be the only person Debierue knew to contact； and I could certainly trust Cassidy to make the correct decision。 He might inform the news media； and again he might not。 Before doing anything； he would want to know whether I got a picture for him before the fire started。 And although Cassidy might suspect me of setting the fire； he wouldn't know for sure； and he wouldn't give a damn about the other 〃paintings〃 destroyed in the fire so long as he got his。
I still had about three hours； or perhaps closer to four； to contact Cassidy before Debierue learned about the fire and managed to telephone him。
And Berenice？ It would be best to keep her with me。 At least for now。 Once we reached New York； I could settle her in a hotel for a few days until I finished doing the things I had to do； and then we could work out a promise of some kind。 The best promise； and I could work out the details later； would be for her to return to Duluth and teach until the summer vacation。 In this way； 〃we could reflect upon how we really felt about each other…at a sane distance； without passion interfering…and； if we both felt as if we still loved each other； in truth； and our affair was not just a physical thing； well； we could then work out some kind of life arrangement together when we met in New York…or somewhere…during her two…month summer vacation。〃
This was an idea I could sell； I decided； but until I had time for it； she could stay with me for the ride。 It would take hours of argument to get rid of her now； and I simply couldn't spare the time on polemics when I had to concentrate every faculty I possessed on Debierue； his 〃American Harvest〃 period； his painting； and what I was going to write。
I took the Lake Worth bridge to pick up A1A； to enter Palm Beach from the southern end of the island； and Berenice shifted suddenly in her seat。
〃Do you know that we've driven for more than forty…five minutes； and you haven't said a single word？〃
〃Crack your wind…wing a little； Honey；〃 I said； 〃and we'll get some more air。〃
〃Oh！〃 She cracked the window。 〃You're the most exasperating man I've ever met in my life； and if I didn't love you so much I'd tell you so！〃
By leaving the food in the refrigerator； and the canned food and staples on the shelves； it didn't take us long to pack。 I put my clean clothes in my small suitcase； and the dirty clothes； which made up the bulk of my belongings； all went into the big valopack with my suits； slacks； and jackets。 While Berenice looked around to see if we had forgotten anything； I took my bags and typewriter to the car and tossed them into the back seat。
On my way back for Berenice's luggage I stopped at the landlady's apartment； gave her the receipt for the power pany's twenty…dollar deposit； and told her to take the money that remained to pay someone to clean the apartment。 When she began to protest that this small sum wouldn't be enough to pay a cleaning woman； I told her to add the balance of the rent money I had paid her in advance instead of returning it to me and she said： 〃I hope you have a pleasant trip back to New York； Mr。 Figueras； and perhaps you'll drop me a card some time from Spanish Harlem。〃
She was a real bitch； but I shrugged off her parting remark and returned to the apartment for Berenice and her things。
I stopped at the Western Union office in Riviera Beach and sent two telegrams。 The first one； to my managing editor in New York； was easy：
HOLD MY SPACE 5000 WORDS PERSONAL ARTICLE ON DEBIERUE
DRIVING WITH IT NOW TO NY FIGUERAS
This telegram would put Tom Russell into a frenzy； but he would hold the space； or rip out something else already set for a piece on Debierue。 But he would be so astonished about m