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〃He said he would try to find out something； but he hasn't。〃
We looked at Leeds。 He upturned a palm。
〃Well；〃 he said； half apology and half protest； 〃I'm no trained detective。 I asked him straight； and he just laughed at me。 You didn't want anyone else to get a hint of it； that you were curious about money he wasn't getting from you； so I was pretty limited in my asking around。 I did my best； Sarah； you know I did。〃
〃It seems to me；〃 Wolfe told her； 〃that Mr。 Leeds had one good ideaasking him。 Have you tried that yourself？〃
〃Certainly。 Long ago。 He told me that an investment he had made was doing well。〃
〃Maybe it was。 Why not？〃
〃Not with my husband。〃 She was positive。 〃I know how he is with money。 It isn't in him to make an investment。 Another thing： he is away more now。 I don't know where he is as much as I used to。 I don't mean weeks or even days； just an afternoon or evening…and several times he has had an appointment that he couldn't break when I wanted him to…〃
Wolfe grunted； and she was at him。 〃I know！ You think I feel that I've bought him and I own him！ That's not it at all！ All I really want is to be like a wife； just any wife…not beautiful and not ugly； not rich and not poorjust a wife！ And hasn't a wife a right to know the source of her husband's ine…isn't it her duty to know？ If you had a wife wouldn't you want her to know？〃
Wolfe made a face。 〃I can tell you； madam； what I don't want。 I don't want this job。 I think you're gulling me。 You suspect that your husband is swindling you； either emotionally or financially； and you want me to catch him at it〃
He turned to me； 〃Archie。 You'll have to change that formula。 Hereafter； when a request es for an appointment； do not say merely that we will not undertake to get divorce or separation evidence。 Make it clear that we will not engage to expose a husband for a wife； or a wife for a husband； under any camouflage。 May I ask what you are doing； Mrs。 Rackham？〃
She had opened her brown leather handbag and taken out a checktold and a little gold fountain pen。 Resting the checkfold on the bag； she was writing in it with the pen。 Wolfe's question got no reply until she had Brushed writing； torn out the check； returned the fold and pen to the bag； and snapped the bag shut。 Then she looked at him。
〃I don't want you to expose my husband； Mr。 Wolfe。〃 She was holding the check with her thumb and fingertip。 〃God knows I don't！ I just want to know。 You're not ugly and afraid and neurotic like me； you're big and handsome and successful and not afraid of anything。 When I knew I had to have help and my cousin couldn't do it； and I wouldn't go to anyone I knew； I went about it very carefully。 I found out all about you； and no one knows I did； or at least why I did。 If my husband is doing something that will hurt me that will be the end； but I don't want to expose him； I just have to know。 You are the greatest detective on earth； and you're an honest man。 I just want to pay you for finding out where and how my husband is getting money； that's all。 You can't possibly say you won't do it。 Not possibly！〃
She left her chair and went to put the check on his desk in front of him。
〃It's for ten thousand dollars； but that doesn't mean I think that's enough。 Whatever you say。 But don't you dare say I want to expose him！ My God expose him？〃
She had my sympathy up to a point； but what stuck out was her basic assumption that rich people can always get anything they want just by putting up the dough。 That's enough to give an honest workingman； like a private detective for instance； a pain in three places。 The assumption is of course sound in some cases； but what rich people are apt not to understand is that there are important exceptions。
This； however； was not one of them； and I hoped Wolfe would see that it wasn't。 He did。 He didn't want to； but the bank account had by no means fully recovered from the awful blow of March fifteenth； only three weeks back； and he knew it。 He came forward in his chair for a glance at the check； caught my eye and saw how I felt about it； heaved a sigh； and spoke。
〃Your notebook； Archie。 Confound it。〃
2
THE following morning； Saturday； I was in the office typing the final report on a case which I will not identify by name because it was never allowed to get within a mile of a newspaper or a microphone。 We were mitted on Mrs。 Rackham's job； since I had deposited her check Friday afternoon； but no move had been made yet； not even a phone call to any of the names she had given us； because it was Wolfe's idea that first of all we must have a look at him。 With Wolfe's settled policy of never leaving his house on business； and with no plausible excuse for getting Barry Rackham to the office； I would have to do the looking； and that had been arranged for。
Mrs。 Rackham had insisted that her husband must positively not know or even suspect that he was being investigated； and neither must anyone else； so the arrangements for the look were a little plicated。 She vetoed my suggestion that I should be invited to join a small week…end gathering at her country home in Westchester； on the ground that someone would probably recognize the Archie Goodwin who worked for Nero Wolfe。 It was Calvin Leeds who offered an amendment that was adopted。 He had a little place of his own at the edge of her estate； where he raised dogs； called Hillside Kennels。 A month ago one of his valuable dogs had been poisoned； and I was to go there Saturday afternoon as myself； a detective named Archie Goodwin； to investigate the poisoning。 His cousin would invite him to her place； Birchvale； for dinner； and I would go along。
It was a quiet Saturday morning in the office； with Wolfe up in the plant rooms as usual from nine to eleven； and I finished typing the report of a certain case with no interruptions except a couple of phone calls which I handled myself； and one for which I had to give Wolfe a buzz…from somebody at Mummiani's on Fulton Street to say that they had just got eight pounds of fresh sausage from Bill Darst at Hackettstown； and Wolfe could have half of it。 Since Wolfe regards Darst as the best sausage maker west of Cherbourg； he asked that it be sent immediately by messenger； and for heaven's sake not with dry ice。
When； at 11： o i； the sound of Wolfe's elevator came； I got the big dictionary in front of me on my desk； opened to H； and was bent over it as he entered the office； crossed to his oversized custom…built chair； and sat。 He didn't bite at once because his mind was elsewhere。 Even before he rang for beer he asked； 〃Has the sausage e？〃
Without looking up I told him no。
He pressed the button twice…the beer signal…leaned back； and frowned at me。 I didn't see the frown； absorbed as I was in the dictionary； but it was in his tone of voice。
〃What are you looking up？〃 he demanded。
〃Oh； just a word；〃 I said casually。 〃Checking up on our client。 I thought she was illiterate； her calling you handsome…remember？ But； by gum； it was merely an understatement。 Here it is； absolutely kosher： 'Handsome： moderately large。' For an example it gives 'a handsome sum of money。' So she was dead right； you're a handsome detective； meaning a moderately large detective。〃 I closed the dictionary and returned it to its place； remarking cheerfully； 〃Live and learn！〃
It was a dud。 Ordinarily that would have started him tossing phrases and adjectives； but he was occupied。 Maybe he didn't even hear me。 When Fritz came from the kitchen with the beer； Wolfe； taking from a drawer the gold bottle opener that a pleased client had given him； spoke。
〃Fritz； good news。 We're getting some of Mr。 Darst's sausage…four pounds。〃
Fritz let his eyes gleam。 〃Ha！ Today？〃
〃Any moment。〃 Wolfe poured beer。 〃That raises the question of cloves again。 What do you think？〃
〃I'm against it；〃 Fritz said firmly。
Wolfe nodded。 〃I think I agree。 I think I do。 You may remember what Marko Vukcic said last year…and by the way； he must be invited for a taste of this。 For Monday luncheon？〃
〃That would be possible；〃 Fritz conceded； 〃but we have arranged for shad with roe…〃
〃Of course。〃 Wolfe lifted his glass and drank； put it down empty； and used his handkerchief on his lips。 That； he thought； was the only way for a man to scent a handkerchief。 〃We'll have Marko for the sausage at Monday dinner； followed by duck Mondor。〃 He leaned forward and wiggled a finger。
〃Now about the shallots and fresh thyme： there's no use depending on Mr。 Colson。 We might get diddled again。 Archie will have to go…〃
At that point Archie had to go answer the doorbell； which I was glad to do。
I fully appreciate； mosdy anyhow； the results of Wolfe's and Fritz's powwows on grub when it arrives at the table； but the gab often strikes me as overdone。 So I didn't mind the call to the hall and the front door。 There I found a young man with a pug nose and a package； wearing a cap that said 〃Fleet Messenger Service。〃 I signed the slip； shut the door； started back down the hall； and was met not only by Fritz but by Wolfe too； who can move well enough when there's something he thinks is worth moving for。
He took the package from me and headed for the kitchen； followed by Fritz and me。
The small carton was sealed with tape。 In the kitchen Wolfe put it on the long table； reached to the rack for a knife； cut the tape； and pulled the Baps up。 My reflexes are quick； and the instant the hissing noise started I grabbed Wolfe's arm to haul him back； yelling at Fritz； 〃Watch out！ Drop！〃
Wolfe can move all right； considering what he has to move。 He and I went through the open door into the hall before the explosion came； and Fritz came bounding after； pulling the door with him。 We all kept going； along the short stretch of hall to the office door； and into the office。 There we stopped dead。 No explosion yet。
〃It's still hissing；〃 I said； and moved。
〃e back here'〃 Wolfe manded。
〃Be quiet；〃 I manded back； and dropped to my hands and knees and made it into the hall。 There I stopped to sniff； crawled to within a yard of the crack under the kitchen door； and sniffed again。
I arose； returned to the office on my feet； and told them。 〃Gas。 Tear gas； I think。 The hissing has stopped。〃
Wolfe snorted。
〃No sausage；〃 Fritz said grimly。
〃If it had been a trigger job on a grenade；〃 I told him； 〃there would have been plenty or sausage。 Not for us； of us。 Now it's merely a damn nuisance。 You'd better sit here and chat a while。〃
I marched to the hall and shut the door behind me； went and opened the front door wide； came back and stood at the kitchen door and took a full breath； opened the door； raced through and opened the back door into the courtyard； and ran back again to the front。 Even there the air current was too gassy for fort； so I moved out to the stoop。 I had been there only a moment when I heard my name called。
〃Archie！〃
I turned。 Wolfe's head with its big oblong face was protruding from a window of the front room。
〃Yes； sir；〃 I said brightly。
〃Who brought that package？〃
I told him Fleet Messenger Service。
When the breeze through the hall had cleared the air I returned to the kitchen and Fritz joined me… We gave the package a look and found it was quite simple： a metal cylinder with a valve； with a brass rod that had been adjusted so that when the package was opened so was the valve。 There was still a strong smell； close up； and Fritz took it to the basement。 I went to the office and found Wolfe behind his desk； busy at the phone。
I dropped into my chair and dabbed at my runny eyes with my handkerchief。 When he hung up I asked； 〃Any luck？〃
〃I didn't expect any；〃 he growled。
〃Right。 Shall I call a cop？〃
〃No。〃
I nodded。 〃The question was rhetorical。〃 I dabbed at my eyes some more； and blew my nose。 〃Nero Wolfe does not call cops。 Nero Wolfe opens his own packages of sausage and makes his own enemies bite the dust〃 I blew my nose again。 〃Nero Wolfe is a man who will go far if he opens one package too many。 Nero Wolfe has never…〃
〃The question was not rhetorical；〃 Wolfe said rudely。 〃That is not what rhetorical means。〃
〃No？ I asked it