按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
would he keep one eye upon a coach or crammer from the Circumlocution
Office sitting below the bar； and smash the honourable gentleman with
the Circumlocution Office account of this matter。 And although one
of two things always happened； namely； either that the Circumlocution
Office had nothing to say and said it； or that it had something to say
of which the noble lord； or right honourable gentleman； blundered one
half and forgot the other； the Circumlocution Office was always voted
immaculate by an acmodating majority。
Such a nursery of statesmen had the Department bee in virtue of a
long career of this nature； that several solemn lords had attained the
reputation of being quite unearthly prodigies of business； solely from
having practised； How not to do it； as the head of the Circumlocution
Office。 As to the minor priests and acolytes of that temple； the result
of all this was that they stood divided into two classes； and； down to
the junior messenger； either believed in the Circumlocution Office as
a heaven…born institution that had an absolute right to do whatever it
liked； or took refuge in total infidelity； and considered it a flagrant
nuisance。
The Barnacle family had for some time helped to administer the
Circumlocution Office。 The Tite Barnacle Branch； indeed； considered
themselves in a general way as having vested rights in that direction；
and took it ill if any other family had much to say to it。 The Barnacles
were a very high family； and a very large family。 They were dispersed
all over the public offices； and held all sorts of public places。 Either
the nation was under a load of obligation to the Barnacles； or the
Barnacles were under a load of obligation to the nation。 It was not
quite unanimously settled which； the Barnacles having their opinion； the
nation theirs。
The Mr Tite Barnacle who at the period now in question usually coached
or crammed the statesman at the head of the Circumlocution Office； when
that noble or right honourable individual sat a little uneasily in his
saddle by reason of some vagabond making a tilt at him in a newspaper；
was more flush of blood than money。 As a Barnacle he had his place；
which was a snug thing enough； and as a Barnacle he had of course put
in his son Barnacle Junior in the office。 But he had intermarried with
a branch of the Stiltstalkings； who were also better endowed in a
sanguineous point of view than with real or personal property； and of
this marriage there had been issue； Barnacle junior and three young
ladies。 What ents of Barnacle junior； the
three young ladies； Mrs Tite Barnacle nee Stiltstalking； and himself；
Mr Tite Barnacle found the intervals between quarter day and quarter day
rather longer than he could have desired； a circumstance which he always
attributed to the country's parsimony。 For Mr Tite Barnacle； Mr Arthur
Clennam made his fifth inquiry one day at the Circumlocution Office；
having on previous occasions awaited that gentleman successively in a
hall； a glass case； a waiting room； and a fire…proof passage where the
Department seemed to keep its wind。 On this occasion Mr Barnacle was not
engaged； as he had been before； with the noble prodigy at the head of
the Department； but was absent。 Barnacle Junior； however； was announced
as a lesser star； yet visible above the office horizon。
With Barnacle junior； he signified his desire to confer； and found that
young gentleman singeing the calves of his legs at the parental fire；
and supporting his spine against the mantel…shelf。 It was a fortable
room； handsomely furnished in the higher official manner； an presenting
stately suggestions of the absent Barnacle； in the thick carpet； the
leather…covered desk to sit at； the leather…covered desk to stand at；
the formidable easy…chair and hearth…rug； the interposed screen； the
torn…up papers； the dispatch…boxes with little labels sticking out of
them； like medicine bottles or dead game； the pervading smell of leather
and mahogany； and a general bamboozling air of How not to do it。
The present Barnacle； holding Mr Clennam's card in his hand； had a
youthful aspect； and the fluffiest little whisker； perhaps； that ever
was seen。 Such a downy tip was on his callow chin； that he seemed half
fledged like a young bird； and a passionate observer might have urged
that； if he had not singed the calves of his legs； he would have died
of cold。 He had a superior eye…glass dangling round his neck； but
unfortunately had such flat orbits to his eyes and such limp little
eyelids that it wouldn't stick in when he put it up； but kept tumbling
out against his waistcoat buttons with a click that disposed him very
much。
'Oh； I say。 Look here！ My father's not in the way； and won't be in the
way to…day；' said Barnacle Junior。 'Is this anything that I can do？'
（Click！ Eye…glass down。 Barnacle Junior quite frightened and feeling all
round himself； but not able to find it。）
'You are very good；' said Arthur Clennam。 'I wish however to see Mr
Barnacle。'
'But I say。 Look here！ You haven't got any appointment； you know；' said
Barnacle Junior。
（By this time he had found the eye…glass； and put it up again。）
'No；' said Arthur Clennam。 'That is what I wish to have。'
'But I say。 Look here！ Is this public business？' asked Barnacle junior。
（Click！ Eye…glass down again。 Barnacle Junior in that state of search
after it that Mr Clennam felt it useless to reply at present。）
'Is it；' said Barnacle junior； taking heed of his visitor's brown face；
'anything about……Tonnage……or that sort of thing？'
（Pausing for a reply； he opened his right eye with his hand； and stuck
his glass in it； in that inflammatory manner that his eye began watering
dreadfully。）
'No；' said Arthur； 'it is nothing about tonnage。'
'Then look here。 Is it private business？'
'I really am not sure。 It relates to a Mr Dorrit。'
'Look here； I tell you what！ You had better call at our house； if you
are going that way。 Twenty…four； Mews Street； Grosvenor Square。 My
father's got a slight touch of the gout； and is kept at home by it。'
（The misguided young Barnacle evidently going blind on his eye…glass
side； but ashamed to make any further alteration in his painful
arrangements。）
'Thank you。 I will call there now。 Good morning。' Young Barnacle seemed
disfited at this； as not having at all expected him to go。
'You are quite sure；' said Barnacle junior； calling after him when he
got to the door； unwilling wholly to relinquish the bright business idea
he had conceived； 'that it's nothing about Tonnage？'
'Quite sure。'
With such assurance； and rather wondering what might have taken place
if it HAD been anything about tonnage； Mr Clennam withdrew to pursue his
inquiries。
Mews Street； Grosvenor Square； was not absolutely Grosvenor Square
itself； but it was very near it。 It was a hideous little street of dead
wall； stables； and dunghills； with lofts over coach…houses inhabited by
coachmen's families； who had a passion for drying clothes and decorating
their window…sills with miniature turnpike…gates。 The principal
chimney…sweep of that fashionable quarter lived at the blind end of Mews
Street； and the same corner contained an establishment much frequented
about early morning and twilight for the purchase of wine…bottles and
kitchen…stuff。 Punch's shows used to lean against the dead wall in Mews
Street； while their proprietors were dining elsewhere； and the dogs of
the neighbourhood made appointments to meet in the same locality。 Yet
there were two or three small airless houses at the entrance end of Mews
Street； which went at enormous rents on account of their being abject
hangers…on to a fashionable situation； and whenever one of these fearful
little coops was to be let （which seldom happened； for they were in
great request）； the house agent advertised it as a gentlemanly residence
in the most aristocratic part of town； inhabited solely by the elite of
the beau monde。
If a gentlemanly residence ing strictly within this narrow margin had
not been essential to the blood of the Barnacles； this particular branch
would have had a pretty wide selection among； let us say； ten thousand
houses； offering fifty times the acmodation for a third of the money。
As it was； Mr Barnacle； finding his gentlemanly residence extremely
inconvenient and extremely dear； always laid it； as a public servant；
at the door of the country； and adduced it as another instance of the
country's parsimony。
Arthur Clennam came to a squeezed house； with a ramshackle bowed
front； little dingy windows； and a little dark area like a damp
waistcoat…pocket； which he found to be number twenty…four； Mews Street；
Grosvenor Square。 To the sense of smell the house was like a sort of
bottle filled with a strong distillation of Mews； and when the footman
opened the door； he seemed to take the stopper out。
The footman was to the Grosvenor Square footmen； what the house was to
the Grosvenor Square houses。 Admirable in his way； his way was a back
and a bye way。 His gorgeousness was not unmixed with dirt； and both in
plexion and consistency he had suffered from the closeness of his
pantry。 A sallow flabbiness was upon him when he took the stopper out；
and presented the bottle to Mr Clennam's nose。
'Be so good as to give that card to Mr Tite Barnacle； and to say that I
have just now seen the younger Mr Barnacle； who remended me to call
here。'
The footman （who had as many large buttons with the Barnacle crest upon
them on the flaps of his pockets； as if he were the family strong box；
and carried the plate and jewels about with him buttoned up） pondered
over the card a little； then said； 'Walk in。'
It required some judgment to do it without butting the inner hall…door
open； and in the consequent mental confusion and physical darkness
slipping down the kitchen stairs。 The visitor； however； brought himself
up safely on the door…mat。
Still the footman said 'Walk in；' so the visitor followed him。 At the
inner hall…door； another bottle seemed to be presented and another
stopper taken out。 This second vial appeared to be filled with
concentrated provisions and extract of Sink from the pantry。 After a
skirmish in the narrow passage； occasioned by the footman's opening the
door of the dismal dining…room with confidence； finding some one there
with consternation； and backing on the visitor with disorder； the
visitor was shut up； pending his announcement； in a close back parlour。
There he had an opportunity of refreshing himself with both the
bottles at once； looking out at a low blinding wall three feet off；
and speculating on the number of Barnacle families within the bills of
mortality who lived in such hutches of their own free flunkey choice。
Mr Barnacle would see him。 Would he walk up…stairs？ He would； and
he did； and in the drawing…room； with his leg on a rest； he found Mr
Barnacle himself； the express image and presentment of How not to do it。
Mr Barnacle dated from a better time； when the country was not so
parsimonious and the Circumlocution Office was not so badgered。 He wound
and wound folds of white cravat round his neck； as he wound and wound
folds of tape and paper round the neck of the country。 His wristbands
and collar were oppressive； his voice and manner were oppressive。 He
had a large watch…chain and bunch of seals； a coat buttoned up to
inconvenience； a waistcoat buttoned up to inconvenience； an unwrinkled
pair of trousers； a stiff pair of boots。 He was altogether splendid；
massive； overpowering； and impracticable。 He seemed to have been sitting
for his portrait to Sir Thomas Lawrence all the days of his life。
'Mr Clennam？' said Mr Barnacle。 'Be seated。'
Mr Clennam became seated。
'You have called on me； I believe；' said Mr Barnacle； 'at the
Circumlocution……' giving it the air of a word of about five…and…twenty
syllables……'Office。'
'I have taken that liberty。'
Mr Barnacle solemnly bent his head as who should say； 'I do not deny
that it is a liberty； proceed to take another liberty； and let me know
your business。'
'Allow me to observe that I have been for some years in China； am quite
a stranger at home； and have no personal motive or interest in the
inquiry I am