按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
Father himself had wept； in the shades of that yard； as his own
poor wife had wept。 But it was many years ago； and now he was like
a passenger aboard ship in a long voyage； who has recovered from
sea…sickness； and is impatient of that weakness in the fresher
passengers taken aboard at the last port。 He was inclined to
remonstrate； and to express his opinion that people who couldn't get on
without crying； had no business there。 In manner； if not in words； he
always testified his displeasure at these interruptions of the general
harmony； and it was so well understood； that delinquents usually
withdrew if they were aware of him。
On this Sunday evening； he acpanied his brother to the gate with an
air of endurance and clemency； being in a bland temper and graciously
disposed to overlook the tears。 In the flaring gaslight of the Lodge；
several Collegians were basking； some taking leave of visitors； and
some who had no visitors； watching the frequent turning of the key； and
conversing with one another and with Mr Chivery。 The paternal entrance
made a sensation of course； and Mr Chivery； touching his hat （in a short
manner though） with his key； hoped he found himself tolerable。
'Thank you； Chivery； quite well。 And you？'
Mr Chivery said in a low growl； 'Oh！ he was all right。' Which was his
general way of acknowledging inquiries after his health when a little
sullen。
'I had a visit from Young John to…day； Chivery。 And very smart he
looked； I assure you。'
So Mr Chivery had heard。 Mr Chivery must confess； however； that his wish
was that the boy didn't lay out so much money upon it。 For what did it
bring him in？ It only brought him in wexation。 And he could get that
anywhere for nothing。
'How vexation； Chivery？' asked the benignant father。
'No odds；' returned Mr Chivery。 'Never mind。 Mr Frederick going out？'
'Yes； Chivery； my brother is going home to bed。 He is tired； and
not quite well。 Take care； Frederick； take care。 Good night； my dear
Frederick！'
Shaking hands with his brother； and touching his greasy hat to the
pany in the Lodge； Frederick slowly shuffled out of the door which
Mr Chivery unlocked for him。 The Father of the Marshalsea showed the
amiable solicitude of a superior being that he should e to no harm。
'Be so kind as to keep the door open a moment； Chivery； that I may see
him go along the passage and down the steps。 Take care； Frederick！ （He
is very infirm。） Mind the steps！ （He is so very absent。） Be careful
how you cross； Frederick。 （I really don't like the notion of his going
wandering at large； he is so extremely liable to be run over。）'
With these words； and with a face expressive of many uneasy doubts and
much anxious guardianship； he turned his regards upon the assembled
pany in the Lodge： so plainly indicating that his brother was to be
pitied for not being under lock and key； that an opinion to that effect
went round among the Collegians assembled。
But he did not receive it with unqualified assent； on the contrary； he
said； No； gentlemen； no； let them not misunderstand him。 His brother
Frederick was much broken； no doubt； and it might be more fortable to
himself （the Father of the Marshalsea） to know that he was safe within
the walls。 Still； it must be remembered that to support an existence
there during many years； required a certain bination of qualities……he
did not say high qualities； but qualities……moral qualities。 Now； had his
brother Frederick that peculiar union of qualities？ Gentlemen； he was a
most excellent man； a most gentle； tender； and estimable man； with the
simplicity of a child； but would he； though unsuited for most other
places； do for that place？ No； he said confidently； no！ And； he said；
Heaven forbid that Frederick should be there in any other character
than in his present voluntary character！ Gentlemen； whoever came to
that College； to remain there a length of time； must have strength of
character to go through a good deal and to e out of a good deal。 Was
his beloved brother Frederick that man？ No。 They saw him； even as it
was； crushed。 Misfortune crushed him。 He had not power of recoil enough；
not elasticity enough； to be a long time in such a place； and yet
preserve his self…respect and feel conscious that he was a gentleman。
Frederick had not （if he might use the expression） Power enough to see
in any delicate little attentions and……and……Testimonials that he might
under such circumstances receive； the goodness of human nature； the fine
spirit animating the Collegians as a munity； and at the same time
no degradation to himself； and no depreciation of his claims as a
gentleman。 Gentlemen； God bless you！
Such was the homily with which he improved and pointed the occasion to
the pany in the Lodge before turning into the sallow yard again；
and going with his own poor shabby dignity past the Collegian in the
dressing…gown who had no coat； and past the Collegian in the sea…side
slippers who had no shoes； and past the stout greengrocer Collegian in
the corduroy knee…breeches who had no cares； and past the lean clerk
Collegian in buttonless black who had no hopes； up his own poor shabby
staircase to his own poor shabby room。
There； the table was laid for his supper； and his old grey gown was
ready for him on his chair…back at the fire。 His daughter put her
little prayer…book in her pocket……had she been praying for pity on all
prisoners and captives！……and rose to wele him。
Uncle had gone home； then？ she asked @ as she changed his coat and
gave him his black velvet cap。 Yes； uncle had gone home。 Had her father
enjoyed his walk？ Why； not much； Amy； not much。 No！ Did he not feel
quite well？
As she stood behind him； leaning over his chair so lovingly； he looked
with downcast eyes at the fire。 An uneasiness stole over him that was
like a touch of shame； and when he spoke； as he presently did； it was in
an unconnected and embarrassed manner。
'Something； I……hem！……I don't know what； has gone wrong with Chivery。
He is not……ha！……not nearly so obliging and attentive as usual to…night。
It……hem！……it's a little thing； but it puts me out； my love。 It's
impossible to forget；' turning his hands over and over and looking
closely at them； 'that……hem！……that in such a life as mine； I am
unfortunately dependent on these men for something every hour in the
day。'
Her arm was on his shoulder； but she did not look in his face while he
spoke。 Bending her head she looked another way。
'I……hem！……I can't think； Amy； what has given Chivery offence。 He is
generally so……so very attentive and respectful。 And to…night he was
quite……quite short with me。 Other people there too！ Why； good Heaven！
if I was to lose the support and recognition of Chivery and his brother
officers； I might starve to death here。' While he spoke； he was opening
and shutting his hands like valves； so conscious all the time of that
touch of shame； that he shrunk before his own knowledge of his meaning。
'I……ha！……I can't think what it's owing to。 I am sure I cannot imagine
what the cause of it is。 There was a certain Jackson here once； a
turnkey of the name of Jackson （I don't think you can remember him；
my dear； you were very young）； and……hem！……and he had a……brother； and
this……young brother paid his addresses to……at least； did not go so far
as to pay his addresses to……but admired……respectfully admired……the……not
daughter； the sister……of one of us； a rather distinguished Collegian； I
may say； very much so。 His name was Captain Martin； and he
consulted me on the question whether It was necessary that his
daughter……sister……should hazard offending the turnkey brother by
being too……ha！……too plain with the other brother。 Captain Martin was
a gentleman and a man of honour； and I put it to him first to give me
his……his own opinion。 Captain Martin （highly respected in the army） then
unhesitatingly said that it appeared to him that his……hem！……sister was
not called upon to understand the young man too distinctly； and that
she might lead him on……I am doubtful whether 〃lead him on〃 was Captain
Martin's exact expression： indeed I think he said tolerate him……on her
father's……I should say； brother's……account。 I hardly know how I have
strayed into this story。 I suppose it has been through being unable to
account for Chivery； but as to the connection between the two； I don't
see……'
His voice died away； as if she could not bear the pain of hearing him；
and her hand had gradually crept to his lips。 For a little while there
was a dead silence and stillness； and he remained shrunk in his chair；
and she remained with her arm round his neck and her head bowed down
upon his shoulder。
His supper was cooking in a saucepan on the fire； and； when she moved；
it was to make it ready for him on the table。 He took his usual seat；
she took hers； and he began his meal。 They did not； as yet； look at one
another。 By little and little he began； laying down his knife and fork
with a noise； taking things up sharply； biting at his bread as if he
were offended with it； and in other similar ways showing that he was out
of sorts。 At length he pushed his plate from him； and spoke aloud； with
the strangest inconsistency。
'What does it matter whether I eat or starve？ What does it matter
whether such a blighted life as mine es to an end； now； next week； or
next year？ What am I worth to anyone？ A poor prisoner； fed on alms and
broken victuals； a squalid； disgraced wretch！'
'Father； father！' As he rose she went on her knees to him； and held up
her hands to him。
'Amy；' he went on in a suppressed voice； trembling violently； and
looking at her as wildly as if he had gone mad。 'I tell you； if you
could see me as your mother saw me； you wouldn't believe it to be the
creature you have only looked at through the bars of this cage。 I was
young； I was acplished； I was good…looking； I was independent……by God
I was； child！……and people sought me out； and envied me。 Envied me！'
'Dear father！' She tried to take down the shaking arm that he flourished
in the air； but he resisted； and put her hand away。
'If I had but a picture of myself in those days； though it was ever so
ill done； you would be proud of it； you would be proud of it。 But I have
no such thing。 Now； let me be a warning！ Let no man；' he cried； looking
haggardly about； 'fail to preserve at least that little of the times of
his prosperity and respect。 Let his children have that clue to what he
was。 Unless my face； when I am dead； subsides into the long departed
look……they say such things happen； I don't know……my children will have
never seen me。'
'Father； father！'
'O despise me； despise me！ Look away from me； don't listen to me； stop
me； blush for me； cry for me……even you； Amy！ Do it； do it！ I do it to
myself！ I am hardened now； I have sunk too low to care long even for
that。'
'Dear father； loved father； darling of my heart！' She was clinging to
him with her arms； and she got him to drop into his chair again； and
caught at the raised arm； and tried to put it round her neck。
'Let it lie there； father。 Look at me； father； kiss me； father！ Only
think of me； father； for one little moment！'
Still he went on in the same wild way； though it was gradually breaking
down into a miserable whining。
'And yet I have some respect here。 I have made some stand against it。 I
am not quite trodden down。 Go out and ask who is the chief person in the
place。 They'll tell you it's your father。 Go out and ask who is never
trifled with； and who is always treated with some delicacy。 They'll say；
your father。 Go out and ask what funeral here （it must be here； I know
it can be nowhere else） will make more talk； and perhaps more grief；
than any that has ever gone out at the gate。 They'll say your father's。
Well then。 Amy！ Amy！ Is your father so universally despised？ Is there
nothing to redeem him？ Will you have nothing to remember him by but his
ruin and decay？ Will you be able to have no affection for him when he is
gone； poor castaway； gone？'
He burst into tears of maudlin pity for himself； and at length suffering
her to embrace him and take charge of him； let his grey head rest
against her cheek； and bewailed his wretchedness。 Presently he changed
the subject of his l