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伯爵把脑袋在脖子上转了一圈，说：“要是派卫兵，我就还得派一个队长……”
村民们都竖着耳朵听着，似乎感受到一线希望。
“但要是我派队长去，”伯爵说，“那么，晚上，我还跟谁玩掷彩游戏呢？”
村民们跪在地上说：“帮帮我们吧，伯爵老爷，可怜可怜我们吧！”周围的卫士们开始厌烦地打着哈欠，给胡子涂着黑油。
伯爵又转了一下头，说：
“我是伯爵，我说话能顶三个人说话，
既然我没见过女巫，
说明根本就没有女巫。”
听到伯爵的话，那些正打着哈欠的卫士立即端起步枪，用刺刀慢慢地逼着村民们退出了庭院。
村民们垂头丧气地回到场院，不知下一步该怎么办，那个跟伯爵说过话的年纪最长的老人说：“现在我们得派人去把马西诺请回来！”
说完，他们便立即给马西诺写了封信，然后将信寄到非洲。一天晚上，当村民们像往常一样聚集在场院的篝火旁边时，马西诺回来了。人们激动的情景就别提了，大家冲上去拥抱他，煮上加香料的热葡萄酒。有人问：“你去了什么地方？”有人说：“你见到了些什么东西？”还有人说：“你知道我们有多惨吗？”
马西诺先让大家说了个够，然后他开始叙述起来：“在非洲我遇到过不吃人只吃蝉的野蛮人；在沙漠我碰到过一个为了挖地下水而留了十二米长的指甲的疯子；在海上我见过一条鱼穿着一只皮鞋和一只拖鞋，它想成为众鱼之王，因为别的鱼既没有穿皮鞋的，也没有穿拖鞋的；在西西里，我认识一位妇女生了七十个儿子，但全家只有一口锅；在那不勒斯，我看见人们停住脚也能往前走，因为别人的闲言碎语太厉害了，变成了一股很大的推力；我还看见过圣人，看见过罪犯，看见过一百公斤重的胖子，也看见过骨瘦如柴的矮子，我见过很多胆小的人，但从没见过像博卡帕利亚人这么胆小的人。”
村民们都羞愧地低下了头，马西诺说他们胆小，实在是一针见血。但马西诺并没有责怪乡亲们的意思。他让大家把女巫的事详细地说了一遍，然后说：“我现在问你们三个问题，然后，等半夜一到，我就去抓住这个女巫，把她带到这里来。”
“问吧，问吧！”大家齐说。
“第一个问题要先问理发师。这个月有多少人到你那里理发？”
理发师回答：
“有长胡子的，有短胡子的，
有胡子软软的，有胡子弯曲的，
有鬈发的，有蓬发的，
我的剪刀给他们都剪过。”
“现在我问你，鞋匠，这个月有多少人到你那里修鞋呢？”
“唉，”鞋匠说：
“我修过木拖鞋，修过皮拖鞋，
钉了一堆鞋钉，上了一堆掌铁；
我修过布鞋，修过蛇皮鞋，
但现在人们都没了钱，无人再来了。”
“第三个问题要问你了，制绳匠，这个月你卖出去多少根绳子？”
制绳匠说：
“柳绳，线绳，
搓的和编的草绳，
细细的柳条井绳，
粗如胳膊，细如针，
硬的如铁，软的如猪油，
这个月我卖了很多根。”
“好了，都明白了。”马西诺说，在篝火旁躺下，“我现在先睡上两个小时，我实在太累了。到半夜，你们把我叫醒，我去抓那个女巫。”说完，他用帽子遮住脸，睡着了。
村民们静静地守候在一边，连大气都不敢出，怕吵醒他。到半夜，马西诺自己醒了过来，他打了个哈欠，喝下一小杯热酒，又朝篝火吐了三口唾沫，然后，旁若无人地站起来直奔树林。
村民们都留在原地等他，只见篝火烧成了火炭，火炭又烧成了柴灰，柴灰也变黑了，这时，马西诺回来了。身后还带着一个人，好像被拉着胡子，是谁呀？是伯爵，伯爵一边哭着，挣扎着，一边求饶。
“这就是女巫！”马西诺喊道。随后又问：“热酒放在哪里了”？
伯爵在众人的怒目逼视下，蜷缩在地上，好像一只冻坏的苍蝇。
马西诺解释说：“不可能是你们当中的人干的，因为你们都理过发，剪过胡须，不可能在树丛中留下须毛；树林里有又大又重的鞋印，而你们都是赤脚进树林的。也不可能是什么精灵干的，因为精灵没必要去买那么多绳子绑了牲畜，再拉走。哎，我要的热酒呢？”
伯爵浑身哆嗦着，竭力要躲到他的胡子里面，马西诺把他从树丛后拉出来的时候，他的胡子被拉得乱七八糟。
“那他用什么方法看我们一眼，就会让我们昏倒呢？”一位村民问。
“他用包了布的木棍子在你们的头上猛击一棍，这样你们觉得像吹气一样，头上无痕迹，醒来时头昏脑沉。”
“那他丢在森林中的那些头钗呢？”另一个人问。
“这些头钗是他用来把胡子扎到头上的，就像女人扎头发那样。”
村民们都安静地听着，当马西诺说“现在，大家想怎么处置他？”时，人群中爆发出一阵激动的喊声：“烧死他！剥他的皮！把他绑在杆子上当稻草人！把他关在桶里让他不停地转！把他跟六只猫，六只狗一起捆进一个袋子里！”
“饶命！”伯爵用颤抖的声音哀求着。
“我看这样吧，”马西诺说，“让他把牲畜都还给大家，再让他把所有的牛棚打扫干净。既然他喜欢夜里到森林中去，就罚他每天晚上都去给你们捡柴火。告诉孩子们以后看到地上有发钗的话再也不要捡了，它们都是女巫米奇利娜的，她再也不能梳理好头发和胡子了。”
村民们就照马西诺说的做了。随后，马西诺又动身游历世界去了，一路上，他加入了一次又一次的战争，每一次战争都持续了很长时间，有诗为证：
啊，战争中的士兵，
你吃的差，睡在地上，
将火药装进炮膛，
嘣！嘣！
The Count's Beard
The town of Pocapaglia was perched on the pinnacle of a hill so steep that its inhabitants tied little bags on the tail feathers of their hens to catch each freshly laid egg that otherwise would have gone rolling down the slopes into the woods below。
All of which goes to show that the people of Pocapaglia were not the dunces they were said to be； and that the proverb；
In Pocapaglia ways
The donkey whistles； the master brays；
merely reflected the malicious grudge the neighboring townspeople bore the Pocapaglians for their peaceful ways and their reluctance to quarrel with anyone。
〃Yes； yes；〃 was all the Pocapaglians would reply； 〃but just wait until Masino returns； and you will see who brays more； we or you。〃
Everybody in Pocapaglia loved Masino； the smartest boy in town。 He was no stronger physically than anybody else； in fact； he even looked rather puny。 But he had always been very clever。 Concerned over how little he was at birth； his mother had bathed him in warm wine to keep him alive and make him a little stronger。 His father had heated the wine with a red…hot horseshoe。 That way Masino absorbed the subtlety of wine and the endurance of iron。 To cool him off after his bath； his mother cradled him in the shell of an unripened chestnut； it was bitter and gave him understanding。
At the time the Pocapaglians were awaiting the return of Masino； whom no one had seen since the day he went off to be a soldier （and who was now most likely somewhere in Africa）； strange things started happening in Pocapaglia。 Every evening as the cattle came back from pasture in the plain below； an animal was whisked away by Micillina the Witch。
The witch would hide in the woods at the foot of the hill； and all she needed to do was give one heavy puff； and she had herself an ox。 When the farmers heard her steal through the thicket after dark； their teeth would chatter； and everyone would fall down in a swoon。 That became so mon that people took to saying：
Beware of Micillina； that old witch；
For all your oxen she will filch；
Then train on you her crossed…eye；
And wait for you to fall and die。
At night they began lighting huge bonfires to keep Micillina the Witch from venturing out of the woods。 But she would sneak up on the solitary farmer watching over cattle beside the bonfire and knock him out in one breath。 In the morning upon awaking； he'd find cows and oxen gone； and his friends would hear him weeping and moaning and hitting himself on the head。 Then everybody bed the woods for traces of the stolen cattle； but found only tufts of hair； hairpins； and footprints left here and there by Micillina the Witch。
Things went from bad to worse。 Shut up all the time in the barn； the cows grew as thin as rails。 A rake instead of a brush was all that was needed to groom them； from rib to rib。 Nobody dared lead the cattle to pasture any more。 Everyone stayed clear of the woods now； and the mushrooms that grew there went unpicked and got as big as umbrellas。
Micillina the Witch was not tempted to plunder other towns； knowing full well that calm and peace…loving people were to be found only in Pocapaglia。 There the poor farmers lit a big bonfire every night in the town square； while the women and children locked themselves indoors。 The men sat around the fire scratching their heads and groaning。 Day after day they scratched and groaned until a decision was finally reached to go to the count for help。
The count lived high above the town on a large circular estate surrounded by a massive wall。 The top of the wall was encrusted with sharp bits of glass。 One Sunday morning all the townsmen arrived； with hats in hand。 They knocked； the door swung open； and they filed into the courtyard before the court's round dwelling； which had bars at all the windows。 Around the courtyard sat the court's soldiers smoothing their mustaches with oil to make them shine and scowling at the farmers。 At the end of the courtyard； in a velvet chair； sat the count himself with his long black beard； which four soldiers were bing from head to foot。
The oldest farmer took heart and said； 〃Your Honor； we have dared e to you about our misfortune。 As our cattle go into the woods； Micillina the Witch appears and makes off with them。〃 So； amid sighs and groans； with the other farmers nodding in assent； he told the count all about their nightmare。
The count remained silent。
〃We have e here；〃 said the old man； 〃to be so bold as to ask Your Honor's advice。〃
The count remained silent。
〃We have e here；〃 he added； 〃to be so bold as to ask Your Honor to help us。 If you assigned us an escort of soldiers； we could again take our cattle down to pasture。〃
The count shook his head。 〃If I let you have the soldiers；〃 he said； 〃I must also let you have the captain。。。〃
The farmers listened； hardly daring to hope。
〃But if the captain is away in the evening；〃 said the count； 〃who can I play lotto with？〃
The farmers fell to their knees。 〃Help us； noble count； for pity's sake！〃 The soldiers around the courtyard yawned and stroked their mustaches。
Again the count shook his head and said：
I am the count and I count for three；
No witch have I seen；
So； no witch has there been。
At those words and still yawning； the soldiers picked up their guns and； with bayonets extended； moved slowly toward the farmers； who turned and filed silently out of the courtyard。
Back in the town square and pletely discouraged； the farmers had no idea what to do next。 But the senior of them all； the one who had spoken to the count； said； 〃There's nothing left to do but send for Masino！〃
So they wrote Masino a letter and sent it to Africa。 Then one evening； while they were all gathered around the bonfire as usual； Masino returned。 Imagine the wele they gave him； the embraces； the pots of hot； spiced wine！ 〃Where on earth have you been？ What did you see？ If you only knew what we have been going through！〃
Masino let them have their say； then he had his。 〃In Africa I saw cannibals who ate not men but locusts； in the desert I saw a madman who had let his fingernails grow twelve meters long to dig for water； in the sea I saw a fish with a shoe and a slipper who wanted to be king of the other fish； since no other fish possessed shoe or slipper； in Sicily I saw a woman with seventy sons and only one kettle； in Naples I saw people who walked while standing still； since the chatter of other people kept them going； I saw sinners and I saw saints； I saw fat people and people no bigger than mites； many； many frightened souls did I see； but never so many as here in Pocapaglia。〃
The farmers hung their heads in shame； for Masino had hit a sensitive spot in suggesting they were cowards。 But Masino was not cross with his fellow townsmen。 He asked for a detailed account of the witch's doings； then said； 〃Let me ask you three questions； and at the stroke of midnight I'll go out and catch the witch and bring her back to you。〃
〃Let's hear your questions！ Out with them！〃 they all said。
〃The first question is for the barber。 How many people came to you this month？〃
The barber replied：
〃Long beards； short beards；
Fine beards； coarse beards；
Locks straight； locks curly；
All I trimmèd（sic） in a hurry。〃
〃Your turn now； cobbler。 How many people brought you their old shoes to mend this month？〃
〃Alas！〃 began the cobbler：
〃Shoes of wood； shoes of leather；
Nail by nail I hammered back together；
Mended shoes of satin and shoes of serpent。
But there's nothing left to do；
All their money is spent。〃
〃The third question goes to you； rope maker。 How much rope did you sell this month？〃
The rope maker replied：
〃Rope galore of every sort I sold：
Hemp rope； braided； wicker； cord；
Needle…thin to arm…thick；
Lard…soft to iron…strong。。。
This mo