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anner.bloodandgold-第50部分

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   I went to the shrine of Those Who Must Be Kept and remained there in meditation。 I laid the case before Akasha。
   I wanted this child…this boy who was now two years older than when I'd found him…and yet I wanted everything else for him; and my soul was torn; just as his heart was torn。
   Never before had I wanted such a thing; to make a blood drinker for my own panionship; indeed to educate a mortal youth for this very purpose; and to groom him expertly that he might be the finest choice。
   But I wanted it now and it filled my thoughts during eveiy waking hour; and I found no consolation looking at my cold Mother and Father。 I heard no answer to my prayer。
   I lay down to sleep in the shrine and knew only dark and troubled dreams。
   I saw the garden; the very one I had painted on the walls eternally; and I was walking in it as always; and there was fruit on the low…hanging trees。 There came Amadeo walking near me; and suddenly there came from his mouth a chilling cruel laughter。
   〃A sacrifice?〃 he asked; 〃for Bianca? How can such a thing be?〃
   I woke with a start; and sat up; rubbing the backs of my arms; and shaking my head; trying to free myself from the dream。
   〃I don't know the answer;〃 I whispered; as though he were there near me; as though his spirit had traveled to die place where I sat。
   〃Except she was already a young woman when I came upon her;〃 I responded; 〃educated and forced into life; indeed a murderess; yes; indeed; a murderess; a child woman guilty of dreadful crimes。 And you; you were a helpless child。 I could mold you and change you; all of which I've done。
   〃It's true; I thought you were a painter;〃 I continued; 〃that you had the gift for painting; and I know that it's still in you; and that did sway me; too。 But when all is said and done; I don't know why you distracted me; only that it was done。〃
   I lay back down to sleep once more; lying on my side rather carelessly;
    staring up at the glimmering eye of Akasha。 At the harsh lines of the face of Enkil。
   I thought back over the centuries to Eudoxia。 I remembered her terrible death。 I remembered her burning body as it lay upon the floor of the shrine in the very place where I lay now。
   I thought of Pandora。 Where is my Pandora? And then finally I drifted into sleep。
   When I returned to the palazzo; ing down from the roof as was always my custom; things were not as I would have them; for all the pany was solemn at supper; and Vincenzo told me anxiously that a 〃strange man〃 had e to visit me; and that he stood in the anteroom and would not e in。
   The boys had been finishing one of my murals in the anteroom; and they had hastily left this 〃strange man〃 to himself。 Only Amadeo had remained behind; doing some small work with little enthusiasm; his eyes upon this 〃strange man〃 in a manner which gave Vmcenzp concern。
   As if that were not enough; Bianca had been to visit; indeed to give me a gift from Florence; a small painting by Botticelli; and she had had 〃uneasy〃 conversation with this 〃strange man〃 and had told Vincenzo to keep watch on him。 Bianca was gone。 The 〃strange man〃 remained。 I went into die anteroom immediately; but I had felt the presence of this creature before I saw who it was。 It was Mael。
   Not for a single second did I not know him。 He was unchanged just as I am unchanged; and he had not paid much attention to the fashion of these times; any more than he had paid attention to the fashion of times in the past。
   He looked dreadful in fact in a ragged leather jerkin and leggings with holes in them and his boots were tied with rope。
   His hair was dirty and tangled but his face wore an amazingly pleasant
   
    expression; and when he saw me he came at once to me and embraced me。
   〃You're really here;〃 he said in a low voice; as though we had to whisper under my roof。 He spoke the old Latin。 〃I heard of it but I didn't believe it。 Oh; I'm so glad to see you。 I'm glad you're still。 。 。〃
   〃Yes; I know what you mean to say;〃 I said。 〃I'm still the watcher of the years passing; I'm still the witness surviving in the Blood。〃
   〃Oh; you put it far better than I could;〃 he answered。 〃But let me say it again; I'm so happy to see you; happy to hear your voice。〃
   I saw that there was dust all over him。 He was looking about the room; at its fancy painted ceiling with its ring of cherubs and its gold leaf。 He stared at the unfinished mural。 I wondered if he knew it was my work。
   〃Mael; always the astonished one;〃 I said; moving him gently put of the light of the candles。 I laughed softly。 〃You lopk like a tramp。〃
   〃Would you offer me clothes again?〃 he asked。 〃I cannot really; you know; master such things。 I am in need; I suppose。 And you live so splendidly here as you always did。 Is nothing ever a mystery to you; Marius?〃
   〃Everything is a mystery; Mael;〃 I responded。 〃But fine clothes I always have。 If the world es to an end; I shall be well dressed for it; whether it is by the light of day or in the dark of night。〃
   I took his arm and guided him through the various immense rooms that lay between me and my bedchamber。 He was suitably awed by the paintings everywhere and let me lead him along。
   〃I want you to stay here; away from my mortal pany;〃 I said。 〃You'll only confuse them。〃
   〃Ah; but you've worked it all so well;〃 he said。 〃It was easier for you in old Rome; wasn't it? But what a palace you have here。 There are kings who would envy you; Marius。〃
   〃Yes; it seems so;〃 I answered offhandedly。
   I went to the adjacent closets; which were small rooms actually; and pulled out clothes for him; and leather shoes。 He seemed quite incapable of dressing himself but I refused to do it for him; and after I had put out everything; on the velvet bed in the correct order; as if for a child or an idiot; he began to examine various articles as if he might manage alone。
   〃Who told you I was here; Mael?〃 I asked him。
   He glanced at me; and his face was cold for a moment; the old hawk nose as disagreeable as ever; the deep…set eyes rather more brilliant than I'd remembered and the mouth far better shaped than I'd recalled。 Maybe time had softened the set of his lips。 I'm not certain that such things can happen。 But he did seem an interesting…looking immortal male。
   〃You told me you had heard that I was here;〃 I said; prompting him。 〃Who told you?〃
   〃Oh; it was a fool of a blood drinker;〃 he said with a shudder。 〃A maniacal Satan worshiper。 His name was Santino。 Will they never die out? It was in Rome。 He urged me to join him; can you imagine?〃
   〃Why didn't you destroy him?〃 I asked dejectedly。 How grim was all this; how distant from the boys at their supper; from the teachers speaking of the day's lessons; from the light and music to which I longed to return。 〃In the old times when you encountered them; you always destroyed them。 What stopped you now? 〃
   He shrugged his shoulders。 〃What do I care what happens in Rome? I didn't stay one night in Rome。〃
   I shook my head。 〃How did this creature discover I was in Venice? I've never heard a whisper of our kind here。〃
   〃I'm here;〃 he answered sharply; 〃and you didn't hear me; did you? You're not infallible; Marius。 You have about you many worldly distractions。 Perhaps you don't listen as you should。〃
   〃Yes; you're right; but I wonder。 How did he know?〃
   〃Mortals e to your house。 Mortals speak of you。 Possibly those mortals go on to Rome。 Don't all roads lead to Rome?〃 He was  mocking me naturally。 But he was being rather gentle; almost friendly。 〃He wants your secret; Marius; that Roman blood drinker。 How he begged me to explain the mystery of Those Who Must Be Kept。〃
   〃And you didn't reveal it; did you; Mael?〃 I demanded。 I began to hate him again; hotly; as I had in nights past。
   〃No; I didn't reveal it;〃 he said calmly; 〃but I did laugh at him; and I didn't deny it。 Perhaps I should have; but the older I get the harder it is to lie on any account。〃
   〃That I understand rather well;〃 I said。
   〃Do you? With all these beautiful mortal children around you? You must lie with every breath you take; Marius。 And as for your paintings; how dare you display your works amongst mortals who have but brief lifetimes with which to challenge you? It seems; a terrible lie; that; if you ask me。〃
   
   
   I sighed。
   He tore open the front of his jerkin and then took it off。
   〃Why do I accept your hospitality?〃 he asked。 〃I don't know the answer。 Perhaps I feel that having helped yourself to so many mortal delights; you owe some help to another blood drinker who is lost in time as always; wandering from country to country; marveling 
   sometimes and at others merely getting dust in his eyes。〃
   〃Tell yourself anything you like;〃 I said。 〃You are wele to the clothes and to shelter。 But tell me at once。 What's happened to Avicus and Zenobia? Do they travel with you? Do you know where they are?〃
   〃I have no idea where they are;〃 he said; 〃and surely you sensed it before you asked… It has been so long since I saw either of them that I cannot reckon the years or the centuries。 It was Avicus who put her up to it; and off they went together。 They left me in Constantinople; and I can't say that it came to me as a dreadful surprise。 There had been terrible coldness between us before the parting。 Avicus loved her。 She loved him more than me。 That was all that was required。〃
   〃I'm sad to hear it。〃
   〃Why?〃 he asked。 〃You left the three of us。 And you left her with us; that was the worst of it。 We were two for so long; and then you forced Zenobia into our pany。〃
   〃For the love of Hell; stop blaming me for everything;〃 I said under my breath。 〃Will you never cease with your accusations? Am I the author of every evil that ever befell you; Mael? What must I do to be absolved so that there might be silence? It was you; Mael; you;〃 Iwhispered; 〃who took me from my mortal life by force and brought me; shackled and helpless; into your accursed Druid grove!〃
   The anger spilled from me as I struggled to keep rny voice down。
   He seemed quite amazed by it。
   〃And sp you do despise me; Marius;〃 he said; smiling。 〃I had thought you far too clever for such a simple feeling… Yes; I took you prisoner; and you took the secrets; and I've been cursed one way or the other; ever since。〃
   I had to step back from this。 I did not want it。 I stood calmly until the anger left me。 Let the truth be damned。
   For some reason this brought out the kindness in him。 As he removed his rags; arid kicked them away; he spoke of Avicus and Zenobia。
   〃The two of them were always slipping into the Emperor's palace where they would hunt the shadows;〃 he said。 〃Zenobia seldom dressed as a boy as you taught her。 She was too fond of sumptuous clothes; You should have seen the gowns she wore。 And her hair; I think I loved it more than she did。〃
   〃I don't know if that's possible;〃 I said softly。 I saw the vision of her in his mind; and confused it with the vision of her in my own。
   〃Avicus continued to be the student;〃 he said with slight contempt。 〃He mastered Greek。 He read everything he could find。 You were always his inspiration。 He imitated you。 He bought books without knowing what they were。 On and on; he read。〃
   〃Maybe he did know;〃 I suggested。 ''Who can say?〃 〃I can say;〃 Mael answered。 f'I've known you both; and he was an idiot gathering poetry and history for nothing。 He wasn't even looking for something。 He embraced words and phrases on account of how they felt。〃
   〃And where and how did you spend your hours; Mael?〃 I asked; my voice far more cold than I had hoped。
   〃I hunted the dark hills beyond the city;〃 he responded。 〃I hunted the soldiery。 I hunted for the brutal Evil Doer; as you know。 I was the vagabond; and they were dressed as though they were part of the Imperial Court。〃
   〃Did they ever make another?〃 I asked。 〃No!〃 he said; scoffing。 〃Who would do such a thing?〃 I didn't answer。
   〃And you; did you ever make another? 〃 I asked。 〃No;〃 he responded。 He frowned… 〃How would I find someone strong enough?〃 he asked。 He seemed puzzled。 〃How would I know that a human had the endurance for the Blood?〃 〃And so you move through the world alone。〃 〃
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