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an torture。 She had begun to think； in the past months； that their separation must eventually diminish her heart…hunger for him； but seeing him live and intense before her made it ravenous。 No telling what he felt； though。 Right now he looked tired； uncertain； and strained。 Wrong； all wrong。。。
〃Ah； permit me to introduce Lieutenant Simon Illyan； of the Emperors personal security staff。 He's my spy。 Lieutenant Illyan； mander Naismith。〃
〃It's Captain Naismith now；〃 she put in automatically。 The lieutenant shook her hand with a bland calm innocence wholly at odds with the bizarre scene they had just left。 He might have been at an embassy reception。 Her touch left a streak of blood on his palm。 〃Who do you spy on？〃
〃I prefer the term； 'surveillance；' 〃 he said。
〃Bureaucratic weaselwording；〃 put in Vorkosigan。 He added to Cordelia； 〃The lieutenant spies on me。 He represents a promise between the Emperor； the Ministry of Political Education； and myself。〃
'The phrase the Emperor used；〃 said Illyan distantly； 〃was 'cease…fire。' 〃
〃Yes。 Lieutenant Illyan also has an eidetic memory biochip。 You may think of him as a recording device with legs； which the Emperor may play back at will。〃
Cordelia stared covertly at him。 〃It's too bad we couldn't meet again under more auspicious circumstances；〃 she said carefully to Vorkosigan。
〃There are no auspicious circumstances here。〃
Lieutenant Illyan cleared his throat； glancing at Bothari； who stood twining and untwining his fingers and staring at the wall。 〃What now； sir？〃
〃Hm。 There is entirely too much physical evidence in that room； not to mention witnesses as to who went in and when； to attempt to monkey with the scenario。 Personally； I should prefer for Bothari not to have been there at all。 The fact that he is clearly non pos mentis will carry no weight with the Prince when he gets wind of this。〃 He stood； thinking furiously。 〃You will simply have to have escaped； before Illyan and I arrived on the scene。 I don't know how long it will be possible to hide Bothari in here…maybe I can get some sedatives for him。〃 His eye fell on Illyan。 〃How about the Emperor's staff agent in the medical section？〃
Illyan looked nonmittal。 〃It's possible something might be arranged。〃
〃Good man。〃 He turned to Cordelia。 〃You're going to have to stay in here and keep Bothari under control。 Illyan and I must go at once； or there will be too many unaccounted minutes between the time we left Vorhalas and the time we sound the alarm。 The Prince's security men will be going over that room thoroughly； and everyone's movements as well。〃
〃Were Vorrutyer and the Prince in the same party？〃 she asked； feeling for footing in the riptides of Barrayaran politics。
Vorkosigan smiled bitterly。 〃They were just good friends。〃
And he was gone； leaving her alone with Bothari and utter confusion。
She had Bothari sit down in Vorkosigan's desk chair； where he fidgeted silently and incessantly。 She sat cross…legged on the bed； trying to radiate an air of calm control and good cheer。 Not easy； from a spirit filled with panic frenzied for expression。
Bothari stood and began to pace about the room； talking to himself。 No； not to himself； she realized。 And most certainly not to her。 The choppy whispered flow of words made no sense to her at all。 Time flowed by slowly； viscous with fear。
Both she and Bothari jumped when the door clicked open； but it was only Illyan。 Bothari fell into a knife…fighter's crouch as he slipped in。
〃Servants of the beast are the beast's hands；〃 he said。 〃He feeds them on the wife's blood。 Bad servants。〃
Illyan eyed him nervously； and pressed some ampules into her hand。 〃Here。 You give it to him。 One of these would knock out a charging elephant。 Can't stay。〃 He slipped back out again。
〃Coward；〃 she muttered after him。 But he was probably right。 She might well have a better chance than he of getting it into the Sergeant。 Bothari's agitation was approaching an explosive level。
She set the bulk of the ampules aside； and approached him with a sunny smile。 Its effect was diminished by her eyes； large with fear。 Bothari's eyes were flickering slits。 〃modore Vorkosigan wants you to rest now。 He sent some medicine to help you。〃
He backed warily before her； and she stopped； cautious of forcing him into a corner。 〃It's just a sedative； see？〃
〃The beast's drugs made the demons drunk。 They sang and shouted。 Bad medicine。〃
〃No； no。 This is good medicine。 It will make the demons go to sleep；〃 she promised。 This was walking a tightrope in the dark。 She tried another tack。
〃e to attention； soldier；〃 she said sharply。 〃Inspection。〃
It was a wrong move。 He batted the ampule nearly out of her hand as she tried to stick it in his arm； and his hand closed around her wrist like a hot iron band。 Her breath hissed inward at the pain； but she just managed to twist her fingers around and press the administrative spray end of the ampule against the inside of his wrist； before he picked her up bodily and flung her across the room。
She landed on her back； skidding across the friction matting with what seemed to her a dreadful amount of noise； fetching up with a bang against the door。 Bothari lunged after her。 Can he kill me before the stuff cuts in？ she wondered wildly； and forced herself to go limp； as if unconscious。 Surely unconscious people were very non…threatening。
Evidently not to Bothari； for his hands closed around her neck。 One knee pressed into her rib cage； and she felt something go painfully wrong in the region。 She popped her eyes open in time to see his eyes roll back。 His hands slackened in their twisting； and he rolled off her to his hands and knees； head wagging dizzily； then slumped to the deck。
She sat up； leaning against the wall。 〃I want to go home；〃 she muttered。 〃This wasn't in my job description。〃 The feeble joke did nothing to dissolve the clot of hysteria rising in her throat； so she fell back on an older and more serious discipline； whispering its words aloud。 By the time she finished self…control had returned。
She could not lift Bothari to the bunk。 She raised his heavy head and slipped the pillow under it； and pulled his arms and legs into a more fortable…looking position。 When Vorkosigan and his shadow returned they could have a go at it。
The door opened at last； and Vorkosigan and Illyan entered； closing it quickly and walking carefully around Bothari。
〃Well？〃 said Cordelia。 〃How did it go？〃
〃With machine…like precision； like a wormhole jump to hell；〃 Vorkosigan replied。 He turned his hand palm upward in a familiar gesture that caught her heart like a hook。
She looked her puzzlement at him。 〃You're as baffling as Bothari。 How did they take the murder？〃
〃It went just fine。 I'm under arrest and confined to quarters； for suspicion of conspiracy。 The Prince thinks I put Bothari up to it；〃 he explained。 〃God knows how。〃
〃Uh； I know I'm very tired；〃 she said； 〃and not thinking too clearly。 But you did say； 'Just fine？' 〃
〃modore Vorkosigan； sir；〃 interrupted Illyan。 〃Keep in mind that I'm going to have to report this conversation。〃
〃What conversation？〃 said Vorkosigan。 〃You and I are alone in here； remember？ You're not required to observe me when I'm alone； as everyone knows。 They'll start wondering why you're lingering in here before long。〃
Lieutenant Illyan frowned over this Jesuitry。 〃The Emperor's intention…〃
〃Yes？ Tell me all about the Emperor's intention。〃 Vorkosigan looked savage。
'The Emperor's intention； as municated to me； was that you be discouraged from incriminating yourself。 I cannot edit my report； you know。〃
〃That was your argument four weeks ago。 You saw the result。〃
Illyan looked perturbed。
Vorkosigan spoke low and controlled。 〃Everything the Emperor requires of me will be acplished。 He's a great choreographer； and he shall have his dance of dreamers down to the last step。〃 Vorkosigan's hand closed in a fist； and opened again。 〃I have withheld nothing that is mine from his service。 Not my life。 Not even my honor。 Grant me this。〃 He pointed at Cordelia。 〃You gave me your word on it then。 Do you intend to take it back？〃
〃Will someone please tell me what you are talking about？〃 interrupted Cordelia。
〃Lieutenant Illyan is having a little conflict at the moment between duty and conscience；〃 said Vorkosigan； folding his arms and staring at the far wall。 〃It is not solvable without redefining one or the other； and he must now choose which。〃
〃You see； there was another incident；〃 Illyan jerked his thumb in the direction of Vorrutyer's quarters； 〃like that； with a prisoner； a few weeks ago。 modore Vorkosigan wanted to； er； do something about it then。 I talked him out of it。 After…afterwards； I agreed that I would not interfere with any action he chose to take； should the situation e up again。〃
〃Did Vorrutyer kill her？〃 asked Cordelia morbidly。
〃No；〃 said Illyan。 He stared moodily at his boots。
〃e on； Illyan；〃 said Vorkosigan wearily。 〃If they aren't discovered； you can give the Emperor your true report； and let him edit it。 If they are found here…the public integrity of your reports is not going to be your most pressing worry； believe me。〃
〃Damn！ Captain Negri was right；〃 said Illyan。
〃He usually is…what was the instance？〃
〃He said that permitting private judgments to turn my duty in the smallest matter would be just like getting a little bit pregnant…that the consequences would very soon get beyond me。〃
Vorkosigan laughed。 〃Captain Negri is a very experienced man。 But I can tell you that…very rarely…even he has been known to make a private judgment。〃
〃But Security is tearing the place apart out there。 They're going to arrive back here eventually just by process of elimination。 The moment it occurs to someone to suspect my integrity； it's all over。〃
〃In time；〃 agreed Vorkosigan。 〃How much time； do you estimate？〃
〃They'll plete the search sweep of the ship in a few hours。〃
〃Then you'll just have to re…direct their efforts。 Widen their search area…didn't any ships depart the flag during the time window after Vorrutyer's death and before the security cordon was started？〃
〃Yes； two； but。。。〃
〃Good。 Use your Imperial influence there。 Volunteer all the assistance that you； as Captain Negri's most trusted aide； can supply。 Mention Negri frequently。 Suggest。 Remend。 Doubt。 Better not bribe or threaten； that's too obvious； although it may e to that。 Slander their inspection procedures； make records evaporate…whatever is necessary to muddy the waters。 Buy me forty…eight hours； Illyan。 That's all I ask。〃
〃All？〃 choked Illyan。
〃All。 Try to be sure it's you and no one else who brings meals and so on。 And try to slip in some extra rations when you do。〃
Vorkosigan relaxed measurably when he had gone； and turned to her with a sad and awkward smile that was good as a touch。 〃Well met； lady。〃
She sketched him a salute； and returned the smile。 〃I hope I haven't messed things up for you too much。 Personally； that is。〃
〃By no means。 In fact； you have simplified them enormously。〃
〃East is west； up is down； and being falsely arrested for getting your C。O。's throat cut is a simplification。 I must be on Barrayar。 I don't suppose you'd care to explain what's going on around here？〃
〃No。 But at last I understand why there have been so many madmen in Barrayaran history。 They are not its cause； they are its effect。〃 He sighed； and spoke so low it was almost a whisper。 〃Oh； Cordelia。 You have no idea how much I need one sane clean person near me。 You are water in the desert。〃
〃You look pretty； uh…you look like you've lost weight。〃 He looked； she thought； ten years older than six months ago。
〃Oh； me。〃 He ran his hand over his face。 〃I'm not thinking。 You must be exhausted。 Do you want to go to sleep； or something？〃
〃I'm not sure I can； yet。 But I'd like to wash up。 Didn't think I ought to run the shower when you weren't here； in case it's monitored。〃
〃Good thinking。 Go ahead。〃
She rubbed her hand over her nerveless thigh； black cloth sticky with blood。 〃Uh； have you got a change of clothes for me？ These are messed up。 Besides； they were Vorrutyer's。 They have a psychic stink。〃
〃Right。〃 His face darkened； 〃Is that your blood？〃
〃Yeah； Vorrutyer w